Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Did You Know?

Did you know...
That Wal-Mart offers lasik surgery? I'm a little disturbed that I can now go to my local ghetto department store and get a pedicure from a Vietnamese man, pick up a Happy Meal from the Hispanic crew, grab my tolietries, prescriptions, groceries, and household items from the toothless, pregnant, flannel pajama wearing cashier and then stop by the eye center for a little zap to my corneas. And the lasik surgery is only $439/per eye. I mean seriously...would you EVER let ANYONE at Wal-Mart put a laser to your eyeball?

Did you know...
At our local rec. center, downstairs in the weight room, there is a machine that will strengthen and tone your crotch? Don't believe me? There is a intricate drawing on the machine showing the generic human body in black and white with the crotch highlighted in red. With all my stress about my hips and thighs, I never once considered that my crotch might be flabby! Will the body image stress ever end??

Did you know...
My 3-year old can fix a scrumptious "pig in a blanket" all by herself? She helped mix the biscuit dough, rolled it out on the counter, cut strips, rolled the hot dog inside and laid the whole affair on the cookie sheet. I just stood aside and took pictures. It makes watching Barney tomorrow seem a little "remedial" for her. Barney is just tackling colors, shapes and feelings and my 3-year old is ready for recipes, pre-heated ovens, and culinary design.

Did you know...
The nutrition label on the bag of chicken nuggets sitting in my freezer indicates that my children will die of high cholesterol, heart attack, and stroke by the time they are 12 years old if I continue feeding them this crap? (Pipe down...some of us parental units figure things out a little slower than the rest.)

Did you know...
They just announced the Caldecott and Newbury Award winners? The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Seltzer won for the Caldecott (AMAZING book! I love, love, love it. Reading it to J. right now and we can't get enough!) and a book I've never heard of won the Newbury. Go check it out. (C'mon people...just GOOGLE it.)

Did you know...
That when we were sitting at my 6-year old son's basketball clinic today listening to a group of 50 boys yell "DEFENSE" and stomp their feet that my poor 5-year old came up and asked me why all the basketball boys were yelling "Jesus!" When a bunch of boys shout "defense" really loud in an echoy gym, it does sound just like they are praising the Lord.

Did you know...
An iPod nano will make ANY circumstance and/or situation better? Jogging, cleaning house, entertaining children, doing my daughter's hair, going potty (I watched an episode of Scrubs on my iPod nano yesterday while using the "facilities". Never enjoyed myself more. M. kept banging on the door asking why I was laughing and why I was taking so long.)

Did you know...
The T.V. show Pushing Daisies is the most entertaining, clever, creative, funny show on the television right now? I dare say I am enjoying it more than The Office, 30 Rock, Scrubs, and Amazing Race. (Funny...I was just telling a friend today how I really don't watch T.V. anymore. Hmmm...) Actually, I don't watch ANY of these shows on T.V. because that is so "YESTERDAY" to sit around watching T.V. I just download them on my iPod nano and watch them while hiding in the bathroom. So much more sophisticated. (And I have the nerve to make fun of people wearing flannel pajama bottoms to work at Wal-Mart? My poor hypocritic life...)

Did you know...
I got an iPod nano for Christmas?

Did you know...
Pluto is NOT considered a "real" planet anymore? It got demoted last year.

Did you know...
you can't ever count to the end of numbers because it goes to infinity and beyond? That makes me crazy and gives me a headache every time I think about it.

Did you know...
Old Navy is having a HUGE sale right now where everything in the store is so dirt cheap that I almost felt like they should be paying ME to carry all those bags of dirt cheap clothes out to my car?

Did you know...
my husband is AWESOME. (And really cute?)

That's it. Just wondered if you knew...