Thank You

November 2013


Dear Friends and Family,

I hope you will forgive this “form letter” but as I sat down tonight with an earnest desire to write each of you a thank you note for the immense service you have given our family over the last 10 days, I felt impressed to share some of the feelings I have had during this experience.

It is a humbling experience to have a family that you are physically unable to take care of for a time. When we received the phone call that our daughter had been born and we had less than 24 hours to get ourselves to Detroit, we were overwhelmed. We felt an absolute certainty that this child was our daughter and we yearned to physically be there but we could not fathom how we were going to make that happen. Within minutes, we had committed ourselves to be on a plane within 5 hours and to prepare our family for us to be gone for a significant but undefined period of time. As I sit and type that tonight, it makes me laugh! We have 4 children…3 of them attend different schools and one of them is still a baby himself. Over the last few days, I have often thought of the analogy of being willing to take a step into the darkness with absolute faith that your way will be lighted when the time comes. What I have learned is that while the Lord provides that light, He does so through others. We provide the light to each other at critical, crucial moments in life. And our family has been the recipient of angels’ work this week.

Thank you to each one of you for the kind, unselfish, tender service you offered. Whether it was offering to care for our children or assuming all the carpool responsibilities for getting to and from school or providing meals or cleaning our house or just sending texts and emails to offer support and love, you have made such a difference in our family. Every single time that our family had a need that we weren’t certain how to meet, someone would step forward and knew exactly what to offer and how to help. Every text you sent offering a ride or a meal was a direct answer to prayer. I am deeply touched by the love you have shown and offered. I am keenly aware that each of you played a very real part in bringing our Ava home! Every act has left a deep impression on my heart and made me earnestly desire to be more Christ-like, more aware, and more eager to help others in my own life. I have been touched by your examples and truly feel that over and over I have literally seen the hand of God taking care of my family when I couldn’t. I really can’t express my gratitude enough. Thank you!

Bringing each of our children home has been a miracle. They have each arrived with their own unique stories and evidence of the Lord’s perfect love for his children. We also recognize the utter dependence we have had to develop on our Savior to guide and direct us. I testify that the Lord dreams bigger dreams for us and has a greater imagination than we could ever fathom for our lives. Thank you for being a very real part of making our family’s dream come true!

Thank you again for everything you have done over the 10 days. We hope you know how much you mean to our family and how much your love has meant!

The Story of Ava

There was a time in my life where one of my most earnest desires was that my life would be filled with lots of adventures...and the more spontaneous, the better! I know that seems like a strange thing to "earnestly" desire but I just wanted to be sure that wherever I ended up, whatever I did, there would be new things and adventures and surprises. And I don't need to know all the details...things have a way of working themselves out in the most delightful ways when we let go of a little bit of control and allow life to surprise us. 

I also crave good stories. Really good stories. And when you place the events of your life into that "Wow, this will be a really good story" category, events have a way of looking different.

Well, I can testify that God hears prayers and recognizes desires...even strange ones...like wanting adventure and needing a good story. My life has been FILLED with both. Dating Chris, getting married, our actual wedding day, and the birth of every one of my 5 children. Every one of them came sliding into this world on their own adventure and with a unique story to tell. This is the story of my 5th child and 2nd daughter...her name is Ava.

Ava has been growing in my heart for many years. I knew after Hannah was born that there were more children meant for our family and I suspected at least one of those children would be a boy. Spencer made himself known...he wasn't going to wait any longer or be forgotten. And although it took a few years, he made it! But almost as soon as Spencer arrived, I knew there was one more baby...and that this one would be girl. On our first night out six weeks after Spencer was born, I leaned across the table at our Thai restaurant and laid that news out in the open. I have a really bad sense of timing. Here we had just signed over our life savings, were dealing with a brand new baby, and struggling to understand what the new normal was going to look like for our family and I choose that one quiet moment to introduce more chaos. I was genuinely worried that my husband's head was going to explode. But I knew it and I knew both of us were going to need time to wrap our hearts and minds around the idea.

That idea stayed firmly rooted in my mind and heart but I knew that like anything in life, this was about timing and I needed to be patient and wait on the Lord. I also had my hands full and needed to take care of my family. I needed time and knew that if we put our trust in the Lord, He would let us know when the timing was right and what we needed to do.

Last June Chris and I attended the temple with my nephew and his soon-to-be bride. I did not go thinking about our daughter or adoption. And yet the moment the session started, I was sitting there with tears streaming down my face. I felt an overwhelming sense that she was very real and that I needed to pray for her. And so I bowed my head and prayed that she would be protected and watched over and that she would be filled with the knowledge that she had a family who loved her and were waiting for her. I can't describe the enormity of that experience. But I knew the time was right to start moving forward. And I will be honest...that overwhelmed me.

It took us some time to get things together and get our papers submitted. We had no hesitation about going through Heart and Soul Adoptions, the agency that had brought us Spencer. We have a very close relationship with the remarkable women who run the agency and a tremendous respect for how they do the work they do. Our biggest concern was financial. We had used every penny in our savings for Spencer's adoption and were still recovering. We truly did not have a clue how this was going to happen but Chris and I both felt that developing faith in this process was an important part of this process. We needed to be reminded that this was not our work but HIS work and if we could trust Him and be willing to do what was asked then the way would be opened up. But if was really hard because we were unable to see how that way was going to be possible.

 

We finally completed our paperwork and turned it in. We knew there would be a waiting period while clearances and background checks had to clear but we were anxious to be ready and prepared. Just a couple of days after all our paperwork had been submitted, a miracle happened...an honest to goodness modern day miracle...and we had the funds to adopt! All I can do is bear you my earnest witness that your life is in the Lord's hands and He loves His children in ways that our limited understanding can't comprehend. We did not have a clue how we were going to raise that kind of money...not even a vague idea. But we moved forward and after we demonstrated our faith, it happened. We were overwhelmed and humbled and felt so blessed! 

And then we waited. Spencer won't be 2 until January so while I felt anxious to bring my little girl home, I also felt a sense of wanting as much time as possible for Spencer to grow and mature a little bit more. We prayed every day and thought about her often, but waited and waited.

A couple of weeks ago, our social worker at the agency contacted us with 2 potential situations. She emailed us the information and Chris and I looked over it but neither situation felt right. That night as we went to bed, both of us discussed how we had been feeling and realized we had both been feeling the exact same thing. This wasn't it! We needed to keep moving forward.

Last Sunday, November 3rd, Chris came into the Relief Society room right at the beginning of the 3rd hour and asked if he could talk to me for a minute in the hall. I could tell he had been crying and I was instantly nervous. We stepped out into the hall and he told me that Rachel from Heart and Soul had just called him and wanted to talk to both of us about a potential situation. We immediately went out to the car and called her back. She explained that early that morning a baby girl had been born in Detroit, Michigan and asked if we might be interested. Rachel gave us some more details and then we asked for a few minutes to talk about it. 

We hung up the phone and looked at each other for 2 seconds before both us started crying. This was it! This was our daughter...she was here! We called Rachel back and told her "yes"! Rachel told us we needed to try and be in Detroit by Monday morning so birth mom could sign and be discharged from the hospital. And thus ensued complete chaos.

We rushed home and with the help of amazing family and friends, we were packed and boarding a plane by 5:00 p.m. that night. It has been surreal to say the least.

We arrived in Detroit at around 1:30 a .m., rented a car, lucked out finding an incredible hotel, and went to bed (kind of) anticipating what was before us. 

And here we are.

We spent all day Monday and part of Tuesday with Ava's birth parents before she was officially discharged from the hospital and we were able to leave with her. Ava's birth parents are wonderful people! We are so grateful for the time we had to get to know them a little bit and to have them know us. This was their first daughter after several boys. They had been told in an ultrasound that this baby was a boy and so they were pretty surprised when she was girl.  Birth mom had also chosen a family in CA to place her with but when Ava showed up on the scene a little early in Michigan instead of Utah, plans had to change. Over and over again we have seen miracles as the hand of Lord intervened and blessed each of us. Placing their daughter for adoption has been heart breaking for both of them but birth mom explained she believed it would be selfish of her to keep the baby and not be able to provide what they both desired for her life to filled with. I can't imagine the courage of heart and soul that it takes to make that type of decision. It isn't about personal selfishness, laziness, or what is most convenient. Placing a child for adoption is truly about love...the deep, divine, unselfish love that can't be defined. It takes so much courage and faith and trust. I have the utmost respect, love, and admiration for the 2 birth mothers and birth father that have trusted in that love and entrusted us with these beautiful children. They will always have a very important place in our family's life. We owe them so much.

And so in 24 hours, our family changed...eternally. How about that? Reminds me that you never, ever know what is right around the corner...life is a miracle. Families are a miracle. Heavenly Father is aware of every single detail of our lives, our hopes, our dreams, our desires. And He makes us equal to the task. We have truly seen miracles. Like anything in life, this has required many steps of faith in to the darkness and every time we have been amazed not only at the light lighting our path but at the people the Lord has sent to provide that light. There are angels all around us, on our every side, both seen and unseen. I am holding one in my arms right now.

Adorable Ava!

Today baby girl was named! We named her Ava Naomi...she shares her middle name with her great-grandmother who very literally made bringing our baby home a reality.  I promise to write the whole story soon. Meanwhile, enjoy our adorable Ava!

Welcome to the World Baby Girl!

Our family is so blessed to announce the birth of our baby girl! She was born November 3, 2013 in Detroit, Michigan weighing in at 6 lbs. 14 oz. and 19 1/2 inches long. Chris and I flew out Sunday and night and had the opportunity to meet her today. She is BEAUTIFUL and sweet and cuddly and wonderful. We can't wait to get her home so we can start the business of living happily ever after!

Introducing...Baby Girl Carr!

P.S. We are still in the process of discovering what her name is going to be. And Emily...please tell Hazel that after much consideration, we have decided NOT to go with "Brownie".