Night of the Living Gummy
Bears By: Jacob Carr
It was 2 months, 1 week, and 4 days after National Pi
Day, 2015. Most Years I would be celebrating the last day of school, but this
year was different. This year I was chopping off the heads of giant gummy bears
with a rusty lawn mower blade. You see, on National Pi Day a scientist by the
name of John Johnson invented a mega-ultra-lightning generator 5000. When he
turned it on, it hit his bag of gummy bears. The gummy bears grew enormous, ate
the scientist and then swore they would take revenge on mankind for
obliterating their ancestors. And then their evilness plunged the world into
darkness.
As
soon as I found out, my friends and I swore that we would destroy the mega-ultra-lightning
generator 5000 at all costs.
Now
we go back to May 31, fighting our way into the heart of the gummy bears’ evil.
“The
doors locked!” our weapon’s master Ethan shouted over the screams and battle
cries of the members of the Resistance group.
“What
is it made of?” I yelled while nearly dodging the punch of an orange gummy
bear. “Can we break it down?”
“If
we got everybody,” Ethan started but was cut short by the sound of a M-60.
“I
think Braden decided to show up,” Mitchell, our robotics expert muttered as he
appeared next to me wielding a deadly rusted machete.
Now
the air was filled with the sickening sound of gummy bears being ripped apart
by Braden’s madness. Braden was the most dangerous member of the Resistance. He
was a trigger happy lunatic. He dangerously wielded a devastatingly destructive
M-60.
An
hour after Braden showed up the ground was littered with a rainbow of colors. I
found what was probably the last whole arm of a gummy bear and felt sick
thinking that just an hour ago this “helpless” piece of gummy candy tried to
rip off my head. Suddenly I heard a sickening rip. No screams followed though I
knew before I looked back that a gummy bear had regenerated itself back into a
whole sticky glob. Now we had to act fast to destroy the mega-ultra-lightning
generator 5000.
“For
Narnia”, someone yelled as we all raced forward, our heads and weapons held
high.
“#!@*
Narnia”, our mathematical genius Henry yelled. “For OUR world!”
We
ran into the dark, cold lab. A stench of fruit, manufactured gummy candy, burnt
plastic and death filled the air. Immediately I saw the mega-ultra-lightning
generator 5000. Then all heck broke loose.
Gummy
bears falling from the sky…the echoing sound of screams filled the air. I
closed my eyes and threw my only weapon in the direction of what I thought was
the mega-ultra-lightning generator 5000.
SOMETIME LATER…
Now
we’re all dead. It turns out my rusty lawn mower blade was also a boomerang. It
also turns out giant man eating gummy bears are really good at ripping off
people’s heads. So now I can safely assure you…the end of the world is not in
2012…it is in 2015. Beware.
THE END
