Nothing Lasts Forever...Dang It

I remember when my oldest was a newborn. In a blink, everything had changed. I was no longer teaching or working for the district. I was exhausted and emotional and trying desperately to adjust to how different my life had suddenly become. JC wasn't eating well and I didn't know how to help him. I was a little bit of a mess...OK, I was a BIG mess.

One day a friend came over to see my new baby. She held him and looked at him and said, "Oh, enjoy every moment. It goes by in the blink of an eye." I sat there...I'm sure in a pair of something made out of fleece...and thought she was insane. Truly insane. Or I was insane. This was not going fast. This was the house where time stood still and it was never time to sleep. If this was fast, shoot me now.

And then I blinked.

Suddenly I had 3 children finishing another year of elementary school. Today JC finished 4th grade, MC finished 2nd grade, and HB is done with kindergarten. Since HB was already done with school, she and I went and spent the day at the children's museum yesterday. We rode the train and held hands walking down the street and played all day long. And somewhere in the middle of the day I looked over at my daughter and realized this would be the last "day" I would have HB all to myself. Next year she would be in 1st grade and attending school all day. It really did go by in the blink of an eye. And there is a big sadness egg sitting on my heart tonight.

Watching my sweet children grow up is such a joy. But I will be honest...we always hoped and believed there would be more children after HB. Chris and I weren't ready to be done and it has been a year of transition and change as I try to understand and accept what it is that the Lord needs and wants for me. But I won't lie...it has been hard. I didn't think we would be at this place in our life so soon. Suddenly I'm asking myself what I want to do when I grow up. And it is exciting. And scary.

Being a mother of young children is absolutely exhausting...physically, emotionally, spiritually. It demands everything you have. There are so many hard moments and so many exhilirating wonderful moments. There are diapers and bottles and long nights and tiny fingers and sweet smiles and lots of giggles. There are days that go on for an ETERNITY and weeks that disappear. It is such a strange, amazing time of life! Whole months have just vanished this year...and there are so many incredible memories.

And so in the great circle of life...I've become that friend. I will come and snuggle your newborn baby and with genuine tears in my eyes, I'll beg you to enjoy every single moment because it will go by in the blink of an eye.

Life is so amazing.