One Year Ago...

(Pretend you are reading this yesterday...)

One year ago today...

I woke up on an ordinary Sunday morning in Utah and went to church with my family.

One year ago today...

My husband came and found me during the last hour of church because he had received a phone call from our adoption agency and they wanted to talk to us about a possible situation. We went outside to the car and called them back.

One year ago today...

A baby girl was born in Detroit, MI. The minute we hung up the phone my husband and I looked at each other and the Spirit bore powerful witness to both of our hearts that our daughter had been born.

One year ago today...

My husband and I  boarded a plane for Detroit, MI and went to pick up our youngest daughter. It was one of the most unbelievable experiences of my life.

Today is Ava's 1st birthday. And there is so much to celebrate. I want to celebrate her birth parents who made a very brave, very difficult, very tender sacrifice not only to give her life, but to give us a chance to be her family. I don't take that decision they made lightly. It is powerful to feel a mother's love and still have the courage to make a sacrifice that will bless your child. We are honored to share in the journey of Ava' life.

I want to celebrate this little girl with the dimples and chocolate curls and big chocolate eyes. She is joy. I have never met a person who can make people so instantly happy. I have truly felt in my heart that one of her purposes here on earth is to bring happiness and joy to people. Can you imagine having that as one of your talents and gifts? In a world that sometimes feels increasingly dark, what an amazing blessing to have a person filled with light! She is a happy, happy soul...even though she can throw a very dramatic temper tantrum when she wants. But hey...even happy souls have to blow off some steam sometimes!

I want to celebrate the place she fills in our family...she made us whole. I remember a night many years ago when I ached to have all my children "home". Each time one of my children entered this world, they filled my heart with so much love and belonging...but each time there was still an empty spot. The night we brought Ava home to her family in Utah and walked in the door and sat in the family room altogether, I knew. We were all "home". The feeling of relief and gratitude and joy was indescribable. 

I want to celebrate forever families and the experience of being in the temple together as a family and being sealed together for eternity. I want to celebrate the angels that were present on both sides of the veil that celebrated and rejoiced in this miracle that was taking place. I want to celebrate Ava's "biological" history and family and the "adopted" history and family and what that represents...the enormity of love and multitude of blessings that come from being watched over by those who adore her and want to see her succeed. If every child could see just beyond the veil...just beyond our mortal eyesight...and see the angels who love and adore them...

I want to celebrate every milestone she has reached in the last year. Ah..there is so much to celebrate. Ava Naomi is a joy...she is sweet and cuddly and spunky and determined and smart and has filled our home with a love and light and joy that is tangible and real and has changed us forever.

Happy 1st birthday my darling, sweet girl! The world is a much better place with you in it! You are so loved and adored by so many people. You are blessed every single day by the prayers and love of your biological parents and siblings. I feel that. I am so grateful to be your mother and to be sharing this amazing journey with you. I love you! 

Us...The Posed and The Real.

My name is Amy. It has been 5.5 months since I last blogged...not for lack of "wanting" to...just a serious lack of uninterrupted time. And the fact that if I am sitting in the blue chair with the computer on, I usually have one or more little people sitting in my lap trying to help...and little people helping is no help at all. 

Back to the matter at hand. 

Last week we bit the almighty bullet and took the whole gang to go get updated family pictures taken. The large canvas print on my living room wall is not only outdated, but missing the little girl with the big chocolate eyes and dimples. Because trying to take any kind of picture, much less a "professional" family picture, is a little bit like paper cuts with lemon juice poured on top, we had considered other options. For example...paint a gold patch on the bottom and glue a picture of Ava on it, have Hannah paint her in, take a picture of Ava, cut it out and glue her in Jacob's arms, etc. We finally just figured we'd take the pictures and let whatever we got document this time period in our family's crazy life.

So of course on the day we were scheduled...Spencer was running a temperature of 102.5 and in rare "Don't touch me! I don't like that!" form, Ava, who normally takes deliciously long naps, had refused and was going on a 20 minute cat nap, and my hair looked like some kind of bad melted synthetic wig. But persist we did...ladies and gentleman...presenting my favorite people...fever, sleep deprivation and all.

This is what happens when the photographer says, "Look at each other and laugh." I'm pretty sure this isn't what she had in mind but we do appreciate the dramatic antics of our middle schooler...and the death stare of our 2-year old.

Oh my Hannah girl...beautiful inside and out.

And my Ava girl...despite the fact that it looks like she is dressed in red clown shoes, she fills my heart with so much happy every day that I can't imagine what we ever did without her.

Happiest spirit ever...AND 2 dimples to match. Sheer perfection!

Despite the fever eyes, he still makes my heart beat fast. 

My 13-year old suddenly looks like a man...although by the end of the photo shoot the "smoldering" model look was getting old. I don't know where he developed the look...in the basement  bathroom mirror?!

Us. And my feet in placed in a completely natural position.

Spencer's face BEFORE we bribed him with fruit snacks.

Spencer's face AFTER he was sufficiently bribed.

OK...here is the best part of the photo shoot. Unbeknownst to Chris and I, Jake had brought his aviator sunglasses that he is very proud of and apparently  make him feel like a male model when he wears them. He BEGGED us to let him wear them during most of the photo shoot...and we patiently had to explain over and over again why we didn't want him wearing aviator sunglasses in the family picture that was going to be blown up and placed in the living room. We kept promising he could take a picture with them...well, our amazing photographer, who had a few sons herself, finally told Jake to grab his glasses and step over into the corner. And for a few glorious minutes, Jake got to live out all his dreams of wearing aviator sunglasses and being a male model. Who knew? Chris and I were laughing so hard (from a respectful distance of course) while she was taking the pictures but then I had to admit being somewhat impressed when I saw them later. Who knew my giant, gentle 13-year old could perform Shakespeare, win state math competitions, love science, AND smolder like a Gap model?! 

Forget the blown up family picture...maybe we'll just blow up Jake's face with aviator glasses!

This picture demonstrates one of the thousands of reasons why I love Fotofly Studios...the spontaneous moments they capture in between the "posed" photographs that always take my breath away!

He is one of the most amazing little spirits I have ever known.

Be still my heart!

My beautiful, sweet, smart, funny, talented, amazing girls!

Oh, how I love this boy! Isn't he handsome?


My amazing, smart, talented, kind, gentle boys!


Love my "big" girl!

Us.

The "real" us.



Well...there you have it. We don't hang around these parts much lately but consider yourself updated and informed!

I love pictures of my family.

This is a chaotic time in our family. We are busy...busy with big people, busy with small people, busy with life. I don't always handle things very gracefully. I often feel like I am floundering in all the mess but pictures capture the moments I love, the faces and time periods in our family's life that one day my heart will desperately miss. I love my children's eyes and their smiles and their silliness and their seriousness and their personalities. I love my husband and this journey we are on together...I am deeply, profoundly grateful. And I want to remember that...every day...in all the mess and chaos...there is so much beauty to capture and hold and remember.

Remember...that is the key!