Mother's Day Revisited

I loved Mother's Day BEFORE I actually became a mother. Before I had children of my own, everything about mother's day just sounded so right. I was going to be THAT mom. My children would never have runny noses or dried snot, my children's hair would ALWAYS be brushed and coiffed when they went out, daily hygiene involving tooth brushing, deodorizing, and showering would not be options and not only would my legs always be shaved but I would wear make up....and not wear flamingo pink pajama bottoms outside. I would never yell or lose my temper in Target. I would make sure my children had 3 square meals a day plus healthy snacks, plenty of sunshine and fresh air, and we would have family prayers and scripture reading every single day.

That was BEFORE the children came.

OK, so the B.C. (before children) way of thinking was a little skewed. But at some point Mother's Day started to make me feel guilty. I would hear the talks, listen to the songs, read the cards and I just felt like maybe I was doing something wrong. Motherhood is HARD! I expected to be more graceful at it and not fumble so much. I expected to shower more. I never thought I would wear pajama bottoms to Walmart in the middle of the night. Welcome to reality...but here is what I didn't expect. I wouldn't change this reality for anything in the world.

I have learned so much about myself over the last 12 years. I have learned so much about my Heavenly Father and my Savior and have felt my testimony grow by leaps and bounds. I have learned about faith and miracles that can happen in the middle of discouragement and distress. I have learned that sacrifice really does bring forth the blessings of heaven. I have learned to be more patient and forgiving...both of myself and others. I have learned about divine love and learning to see things from a different perspective and that a bowl of ice-cream and a good night's sleep really do solve most problems. I have learned to be humble and ask others for help. I have learned that my parents really were right most of the time when I was growing up. I have truly never felt greater joy or satisfaction or peace than those sometimes fleeting moments when I look at my children and realize they are mine. Eternally mine. For better or worse, through good times and bad, we are doing this together. And they don't expect me to be perfect. They just expect me to be THERE, to be present...and to keep on trying. 

Heavenly Father could have chosen any mother on the earth through all the generations of time to send these children to...and He chose me. I am humbled often by that thought. He didn't send them to me because I would be perfect...He sent them to me because I had the potential to help each of them reach their potential. I wouldn't have all the answers but I would have the abilityl to find and receive the answers when I needed them. I have something these children need and want. I strive every day to be that person that Heavenly Father knows I can be and I try to remember that this isn't a solo gig. I have divine help and protection and guidance...I just need to ask. 

I am grateful for MY mother! She isn't perfect...but she is perfect for me. And she is the perfect Mo for my children. It really does take a village to raise a child. I am grateful for all the "villagers" who pick up the pieces and fill in the gaps and love and nurture my children in a very special, very important ways. I couldn't do it without them. I am grateful for a mom who made such great decisions and set such a good example in so many different aspects of her life not just personally but also as the mother of our family. She is a remarkable woman who has never shunned the difficult or "impossible" things. Her example has taught me again and again that anything is possible with the Lord at your side. As women and mothers we CAN do hard things. And when are children see us face those challenges and fall and get back up and fall and get back up, we are giving them the courage to see life's possibilities and to never shun the good fight. Thank you Mo for being you!

And last, but certainly not least, I'd like to pay tribute to the many women throughout my life who have been part of the village that helped raise me. We talk about women who may not have children of their own but still have the potential to be powerful mothers and nurturers to others...I can truly, deeply testify of that principle. I have been touched and changed by so many women who had the courage to be instruments in the Lord's hands...whether they knew it or not. Mrs. Wheeler, my third grade teacher who took a little girl who felt very much like an ugly, out of place duckling and made her feel like a princess...a piano teacher in high school who nurtured a talent and had patience with a student who didn't practice like she should but who she knew would find joy and satisfaction throughout her life in this gift...a group of amazing women in Boston, MA who truly exemplified the scripture of the mother hen taking the chicks under her wing and through their love, varied life circumstances, and individual examples, changed my life eternally when I stood at a critical crossroads...I am deeply, humbly, eternally grateful for the influence of righteous women. You will never, ever know the sphere or depth of your influence...just by being you. The Lord uses women to bless and nurture and comfort other women...because we "get" each other...and because the Lord needs us. Saying we are all "mothers" is not a trite phrase...it is a powerful, eternal truth.

And so I sit here in my blue chair tonight and I just feel overwhelmed with gratitude. I am so grateful to be a daughter to my mother...she is still my very favorite person to be with. I am so grateful to be a mother to 4 wonderful children...they are my life and my joy. I love being a sister...and I am so, so grateful for the influence and service of my sisters and sister-in-laws. They are absolutely remarkable in every way! I am so grateful for the privilege of being an aunt...I love adoring my nieces and nephews. I am so grateful to be a friend...I am constantly touched by the lives of those around me. I am so grateful.