PURPOSE: What can I learn about being a better parent to my children? What divine guidance does this book provide about parenting?
February 1-6, 2011
This has been such an interesting adventure so far.
Reading with such a specific purpose in mind opens up perspectives and brings ideas to mind that I have never considered before. And given the number of times I’ve “started” reading the Book of Mormon, I thought I had these first few pages pretty covered!
I was born of goodly parents. I have inherited a legacy of faithfulness to the gospel of Jesus Christ that is inspiring and humbling. My ancestors each have a story. And while these stories share a common thread of faithfulness, sacrifice, and testimony, each story differs in how these individuals gained their testimonies, what refiner’s fire they faced to polish and refine their faith, and how the circumstances of their lives shaped and molded their characters. Each story is an inspiration to me. I see so much of myself in some of my family…both my strengths and weaknesses. And I see so much that I wish I possessed. Reading the first few verses of Nephi brought to my remembrance how precious our lives are and how our legacy of faithful living can bless generations to come.
My parents had/have testimonies of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Because they had gained this precious knowledge, there was no doubt in their minds that they would raise children and guide their family using the principles and ordinances of the gospel. I was born and I was taught in all the learning of my parents. I have watched my parents live and be guided by these principles during all the phases of our family’s life together. My parents bore testimony to us children, they prayed for us, held Family Home Evenings, held family prayers, attended the temple, and placed the gospel and their children first and foremost in their lives. And I watched. I can’t say that “listening” carefully to what my parents always said was my forte but I’m hard pressed to find a child…especially a teenager…that is a talented listener. Children are observers. They will do what you do and say what you say and reflect back to you how they are treated and how they feel about themselves.
Nephi watched his parents very carefully.
He listened to what they taught and he observed with both physical and spiritual “eyes” what they did.
His parents took the time to share special experiences with him and bear testimony of what these things meant to them. (1 Nephi 1:5-15)
He watched his parents pray and knew without a doubt the depth and sincerity of their testimonies and feelings for the Savior. (1 Nephi 1: 15)
Nephi understood what the Spirit was and how it worked.
He saw his parents be completely obedient without questioning why or how. His family abandoned every worldly possession they owned to be faithful to the Lord. And despite the trials and afflictions, he observed his parents showing gratitude to the Lord for His blessings and tender mercies. (1 Nephi 2:3-4, 7).
I feel blessed to share so much in common with Nephi. Allow me to share an experience we had in my family that is so similar in some ways to what Nephi describes in these first few verses of the Book of Mormon and that I believe has had a significant impact on my life.
When I was 5 years old, my father was called to be a mission president of the Goteborg, Sweden mission. He was 29 years old at the time he received this call…my mother was 25 years old. They had 3 children, ages 5, 3, and 1, and my mother was expecting their fourth child at about the time they were expected to report for the mission president’s training seminar. (My mom feels pretty confident that she was the only mission president’s wife nursing a newborn at the training seminar!) My father was still establishing his career and they had just purchased their first home. When the call came, they accepted. Now as a wife and mother, I can only begin to understand what some of my concerns and questions would be. But those concerns and questions did not prevent them from preparing for this call that the Lord had extended. My mother had my sister on June 13th and our family departed for Sweden in July.
My father had served his mission in Sweden and could therefore speak the language. My mother had never left the United States. As we arrived, my dad had many new responsibilities to attend to and missionaries to be acquainted with. My mother had 4 small children that needed to be taken care of and a household to establish in a foreign country without the knowledge or benefit of being familiar with the language and culture. But step by step, the Lord provided all our family needed…both physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I know there were tears, discouragement, frustration, and moments of hopelessness. But from those moments were born some of the fondest, sweetest memories and friendships our family has ever known. Those 3 years in Sweden are the backbone of my childhood. They are my first memories. They are some of my most cherished memories. That legacy of faithfulness and trust in the Lord formed the foundation of my own testimony and determination to lead a life serving the Savior. My parents had a 5th child while living in Sweden. My mother learned the language and served in the church…including as a counselor in the Primary presidency. I grew up surrounded by full-time missionaries and was blessed by their faith and testimonies. Can you imagine a more perfect childhood? It was a wonder! And last spring I had the chance to visit my parents in Sweden with my own husband and children and to share all this wonder with them. We went back to Goteborg where my parents spoke at a Stake Conference and I had the chance to be reacquainted with some many wonderful friends who blessed our lives during that time. I saw my “childhood” home and we frolicked in the woods where I played. I took my children to see the school I went to and the naked statue in the middle of town and ate Swedish hot dogs and candy that tasted just the way I remembered them. And I felt deep gratitude for all of it. That my parents were in tune with the Spirit, that they possessed a united determination to be faithful in all things, that they were willing to drop everything and leave when a call from the Lord took them to the “wilderness”. For their faith and optimism. I have been blessed by their obedience and faith. And I sincerely hope in my life that I will follow their example and always respond as Nephi did…”I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” (1 Nephi 3:7)
And so I have my work cut out for me. My children need a mother who lives what she preaches. They need to see and feel me living what I believe. There will come a time in each of their lives when they will be required to stand on their own faith and testimony. Every person has to come to that crossroads and decide where they will stand. But until that day, I want them to have a firm foundation to stand on, a place in their lives where they are safe and loved and feel every day the workings of the Spirit in their lives. I want them to see and understand sacrifice and trials and afflictions and to know they are evidence of the Lord’s deep love for us. I want them to know what the Spirit feels like and the power of this gift in our lives. I want them to know how to find answers on their own and to have the courage to follow where the Lord leads them.
The entire book of 1 Nephi is testimony of a young man who learned precious gospel truths from his parents, gained a firm testimony of Jesus Christ for himself, and was able to accomplish great miracles because of this learning and testimony. What will your children be asked to do by the Lord? Will they be ready? What are we doing every day to prepare our children? Do we contemplate and ponder how what we do, how we react, and what we share with our children is preparing and blessing them for what lies ahead? All Nephi was able to do he was prepared for ahead of time…by loving parents and a loving Heavenly Father. When the time came, he was ready.
Definitely changes how I see my little people and the big people they are becoming.
