Today C. and I went to see the Joseph Smith movie showing at the JS Building. We hadn't seen it before and I have to honestly tell you, it was one of the most powerful movies I have ever seen. Both of us sat and wept through most of it. I laughed when we walked in and there were boxes of Kleenex sitting on the counter but by the end I was emptying the box and sniffling the whole way out. It was amazing! I've been thinking about the movie all day and the line at the very end that says, "Shall we not go forth in so great a cause?" Yes. We shall.
Day Two of trek was wonderful. I have to admit there were 2 parts of trek I did not care for. The first were the Port-a-potties. There were 12 green portable potties sitting on a flat bed truck that were our means of relieving ourselves. Quite frankly, I would have much preferred a hole in the sage brush. The first day it just wasn't that bad but you would not believe the amount of poop in those things by the 3rd day. I'm dry heaving just thinking about it. And the little car air freshener things hanging on the door handles mixed with the stench of raw sewage was enough to send me sobbing into the wild prairie. It was harsh.
The other thing that was a little challenging was sleeping. It was FREEZING at night and I don't think we had adequate stuff. I was so cold both nights and I didn't bring my pillow arrangement so it was a little miserable. (I am a TOTAL pillow snob and will seriously pack my pillows before underwear or a toothbrush. Just pray you are never in a long-term situation with me where I have to choose!) So nights were a little long...but still. Back to the good stuff.
On day 2 we awoke, had a little crunchy oatmeal for breakfast and headed to devotional. Our theme that day was "Follow the Prophet"...which was so appropriate because it was the the actual day of Joseph Smith's martyrdom at Carthage. We finished the devotional and packed up our handcarts to trek to a little lake for baptisms. There were 4 children in our ward that actually got baptized...how utterly fantastically cool is that?! We trekked about 2 miles and arrived at this beautiful place to enjoy the baptisms. The meeting was great. I started to think about how much experiences such as this must have meant to the pioneers. To be able to participate in the ordinances of the church must have brought such joy and peace on a journey filled with so much sacrifice. These ordinances were the very thing they were giving their lives for! I can't think of any other events in life that are more simple and beautiful, more filled with the Spirit and power of God than the ordinances of the gospel. Whether it is a baptism, serving in the temple, partaking of the sacrament...they are events filled with light and joy. Simple and breathtaking.
After the baptisms we headed back to camp. It had been a hard pull out and back from the baptisms and a long time since we had eaten breakfast. Right before we pulled back into camp, we stopped and heard a story from one of our ward "pioneer" boys. He talked about some of the tough things he faced as a pioneer boy...especially the hunger. After he finished his story, Sister Rich told us that our company leaders had prepared lunch for us and we should head back in to camp to eat. We grabbed our cups and spoons and headed over to the mess area where we found our leaders waiting with a bag of flour and a measuring cup. Adults received 1/2 c. and children received 1/4 c. They described the severity of the situation when handcart companies ran out of food on the trip and how they would have to start rationing. It was very humbling to look at that little amount of flour and realize that for many, this was their one and only meal of the day. We were told that we would not receive any lunch until our cup of flour was consummed. We could do it however we wanted but we had to do it. I mixed mine with a little bit of water and made a paste...then I tried to tell myself it was delicious cookie dough and swallowed most of it. The kids were really good sports. J. thought it was pretty nasty but most of the other kids had to have their cups removed because after playing with it like play dough, I think they started throwing it around. Leave it to my kids to find the silver lining! Judging from J's pants, I think he wore more of it than he actually ate!
After lunch we packed up our handcarts and trekked just a little ways out in to this big field at the base of a pretty big hill. We met together for another short devotional. This one was dedicated to all the children who were orphaned along the trail and required to walk alone to Zion. I have to admit this was not a part of the handcart experience I had stopped and thought about before. We talk so much about the children who lost their lives but not about the ones who lost their parents and had to take responsibility for younger siblings and continue walking. It was truly humbling to consider these children who had the fortitude and strength to pick up where their parent's journey had ended and continue the journey. I kept thinking about the testimonies of these youth and the strong possibility that despite what they were asked to sacrifice and give to the Lord, I bet that many of them not only made it to Zion but were stalwart and strong members for the rest of their lives. They were asked to sacrifice for the Lord and whether or not they consciously understood the depth of the sacrifice at the time, it must have left a deep and lasting impressions on their souls...and I'm certain the Lord wept with them as they buried parents, picked up younger siblings, and kept moving forward. I'm certain their reward on earth as well as heaven has been significant.
After our devotional, they split everyone up into 3 groups. The primary children stayed in one group with the primary leaders, the youth went to another part of the field to meet with their leaders, and the adults were asked to hike a narrow trail to the top of the hill. Now this was not a hike for sissies! This was a very steep trail and it took us a nice chunk of time for all of us to make it to the top...especially those that had small children or infants. Once we made it to the top, the bishop held a special meeting with all the adults. He asked us the question, "If you were to die right now, what legacy would you leave to your children?" We had an open discussion about what things were most important to us and what things we genuinely hoped we were teaching our children. It was sobering to recognize the 2 young fathers we have lost very suddenly in the last few months and to realize it could be any of us. Have we truly lived our lives in a way that our children would know without a doubt what we believed in and what we stood for? How would they remember us? As we concluded the discussion, the bishop announced that the next portion of our experience was something they were calling the "children's pull". He explained that our youth were preparing to pull each and every handcart up the hill to the top where we were standing. He asked us to respectfully and reverently line the top half of the trail to witness this event. He pleaded with us to not intervene but to allow our children this opportunity to demonstrate their strength and courage. I think most of the adults were silently weeping. I can't tell you the experience I had as I turned and looked down that steep slope. I saw the children and youth pulling the handcarts into a line, flags flying, and little bodies standing ready at the carts. We heard the cry to start pulling and up they started coming. I just stood and wept. I watched these youth and primary children pulling these huge, heavy handcarts up this hill and I marvelled. The young men and women were shouting encouragement to the primary children and every child and youth was either pushing or pulling. The little ones were walking in the dust behind the carts but they were doing it...on their own. No one was being carried but every one was being encouraged. As they reached the top of the hill, the young men and women would tear down the hill to the next handcart and help pull. They continued to do this until every handcart was at the top of the hill.
Our 3 children were towards the end. J. and M. were both on the front of a handcart pulling. Both had huge smiles on their faces and were so proud as they passed C. and I. I couldn't say anything. For just a moment, I felt as if I was looking at my children as they really are. Not their physical exteriors, but their spirits. I saw their strength and optimism, I saw their determination and enthusiasm for the task and I saw 2 children who were not daunted. They were told to pull the handcart to the top of the hill and they were doing it. I know they were confident because they weren't doing it alone...they had other youth to help them. I crouched down as they passed and truly felt humbled. H. was walking the trail behind the cart. Right as she approached where we were standing, she tripped and fell flat on her face in the dust. I sobbed as I watched my friend reach out to pick her up and truly felt astonished when H. pushed her hand away and with tears streaming down her face, whether in frustration or discouragement, shouted, "I can do it! I can do it!" and stood up and continued walking. I will never hear those words from her again without thinking of that moment. "Yes!" I kept thinking, "You can do it Hannah." I will never be frustrated by that statement again. She can do it. Every one of my children can do it. And they will need all that strength and determination and stubborness to succeed. But they will do it. And I applaud the magnificence of their spirits and the gifts the Lord has given them. They will face many uphill climbs in their lives, especially in these Latter Days. And they will be asked to do difficult things and face enormous challenges and wage spiritual battles that are big. But they will do it. They will have each other, they will have the strength of other Saints, and they will have the strength of the Lord. I went on trek for that moment with my children. It has changed how I see them, it has changed how I treat them, and it has changed the seriousness with which I conduct my life and my dealings with them. It was a precious moment.
At the top of the hill, I grabbed H. and she clung to my neck and we both cried in the sagebrush for a few minutes. The boys had huge grins on their faces and couldn't wait to share their version of the experience. It was a priceless time on top of that enormous hill overlooking the beautiful prairie. I'm so grateful for the immense gift of that experience.
After heading back to camp, we took a few hours to relax. The kids played, the adults mingled and there was some serious square dancing! I have to say no one can square dance like Mindee Hansen! And somehow square dancing became lots more interesting since those painful high school days!
That evening, we enjoyed another delicious dinner and then had an amazing fireside about the prophet Joseph Smith that culminated in our ward singing a beautiful song all together. For weeks before trek, our ward music expert had been going around to all the different auxillaries teaching us different parts to this song. We hadn't heard any of the other parts so hearing it put together at the devotional was really touching. One of the sweetest parts was watching Andrew Rich, one of the youth in our ward who was singing the solo parts in the song. He has a beautiful voice and as he listened to this song being sung by the ward, he broke down in tears. It wasn't just the tears, but the emotion on his face. You could feel the Spirit so strongly and I doubt he will ever forget that experience bearing his testimony about the prophet Joseph through the words of that song. It was a sweet meeting.
Day 2 was filled with memorable and incredible experiences. One thing that impressed me was watching all the children and youth. We had no TV's, no iPods, cell phones, video games, or other "modern" day entertainment and it was amazing to watch them. They played games, hiked hills, built things, and had an amazing time. I loved being with all these people without any of the distractions of our "modern" lives. I felt closer to my family, closer to my friends, and closer to the Lord. One of the great benefits of working and playing together! I loved this experience...every minute of it!
