A Disease Known as Tortellini

I seriously have been to enough doctors in the last 2 years to qualify for some type of medical degree. My children are enlarging my medical view and I can now pronounce disorders and doctor's specialities like it is my native tongue. Except for the one I encountered today...my darling daughter has a very tilted head. She always looks to the right (her right) and has a pretty solid head tilt in the same direction. It was charming the first month, a little alarming the second month, and downright scary the third month. So after a brief consultation with her pediatrician, we showed up for physical therapy at 8:00 a.m. today. I have been trying to decide all day what my favorite moment of the whole appointment was...maybe you can help.

I actually chose this morning to wake up at 6:30 a.m. and exercise on the treadmill leaving me 2 minutes and 15 seconds to get ready for the appointment. I wore my favorite black and white leopard pattern fleece "lounge" pants, a black T-shirt from the dirty clothes, white work-out socks and brown suede loafers. I pulled my hair back into the shortest, greasiest ponytail you have ever seen and chewed gum during the 15 minute car ride to freshen my breath. Hannah wore a pair of pajamas with spit up and a big bunny on the front. I don't even know where Chris pulled those pajamas out from but I can assure you they have been put in a place where they won't "accidentally" be pulled out again. I actually fed my daughter with one hand while driving a white mini-van down I-15. She belched like a sailor when the student physical therapist finally pulled her out of her car seat. I arrived at the appointment late, smelly and flustered. As the physical therapist was handing me my clipboard straining at the "clip" with all the papers I had to fill out, he pointed out the box I was supposed to fill in with her "problem". He said, "What is she being seen for?" We both looked down at my cute baby sitting in her car seat with her head tilted at the oddest angle you have ever seen and I thought, "Is he kidding"? I was tempted to say something like "Her hair won't curl" or "Her big toenail is crooked" but I suddenly became nervous that this was some kind of warped test so I said, "Her head tilts to the right." He said, "Oh, she has..." and I swear what I heard was "Tortellini". I even looked at him and asked him to repeat the word. It still sounded just like tortellini. I had skipped breakfast and have a healthy appetite anyway but I couldn't believe that I was so lucky to have a baby with such a delicious disorder! By the end of the appointment all they had to do was mention the disorder and I would salivate. In one short physical therapy appointment, I had become a big, fat Pavlov dog. Just writing about it is making me crave pasta...

So my baby was taken into a room where they poked and prodded and twisted her head in directions I didn't know a human head could turn and all I could think about was how soon "Octtavio's" italian restaurant would open and what happens to a body when it is fed rich pasta first thing in the morning. Hannah was hypnotized 30 seconds into the appointment by the purple mardi gras beads they were dangling in front of her. I saw her move her head in directions I have never been able to coax her into and her eyes danced with joy. Forget all this Fisher Price crap...Hannah and I are saving our money for Mardi Gras in New Orleans next year.

Well, the good news is that she doesn't need a helmet yet. We have 3 months to cure the flat spot on the back of her head before we have to fork out $1300.00 for a plastic helmet that most insurance companies won't cover because it isn't for "health" reasons but "cosmetic" purposes. Hannah and I have to do her exercises every day, 3 times a day and I'm excited to shower for our next appointment. Despite all the hilarious moments today, I followed the cutest 3 year old boy and his mom out of the office and watched as they walked to their car. His legs were severely crooked but you've never seen anyone move so fast. I honestly felt grateful for the huge moments that happen in the tiniest of events. I felt grateful that my beautiful daughter isn't suffering from anything more serious than a tilted neck and flat head and that I had all these people who could look beyond animal print fleece and spit up stained bunny pajamas to help my daughter have a normal, healthy life. I headed home happy, content, and ready to kill for a bowl of tortellini!