Tribute

On July 31, 2009, at the age of 40, my sister-in-law Juli passed away peacefully in her sleep. This last day has been bittersweet as I've contemplated her life and my association with her and how much...how very, very much...I am going to miss her.

Juli was diagnosed with cancer 8 years ago. At the time, her children were very young...5, 3, and 1 years old. Over the years, she has dealt with chemotherapy, radiation, tumors, broken bones, numerous side-effects from medications and treatments, and almost constant pain. And through it all, she was a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister-in-law, and a friend. She handled each of her roles with patience, faith and love. During the time that she was sick, our family continued to receive amazing and thoughtful gifts that Juli had made. We have dinosaur and kitty hoodie towels, robot and princess aprons, a beautiful nativity set, a CD with her and her children reading their favorite stories to us, and numerous birthday cards that were sent on each of our birthdays! Despite all the hardships she was enduring, she was remembering each of us and taking the time to acknowledge our place in her life. I will forever be touched by that example she set.

One of my first memories of Juli was watching her at a great big family reunion in Idaho with my husband's family. I don’t know if Chris and I were married yet but I was feeling overwhelmed and a little lost in all the noise and chaos of the moment. I remember looking across the living room and seeing Juli sitting cross-legged on the floor with her 2 little children. Her daughter looked like a tiny china doll sitting in her lap and her son was curled up by her side. In the middle of the noise, I watched Juli quietly cuddle and talk to her 2 children as if they were the only ones in the room. I don’t know why that moment had such an impact on me but the image remains vivid in my mind. It was peaceful and serene and reinforced in my heart the importance of mothers and families and taking the time to love and cherish each other.

Juli was a wonderful wife and mother! I have had several conversations with different members of David’s family who have commented on what a master she was in these two areas of her life. She instinctively knew what to do and how to do it. Her children are testimony to her craft. They are smart, independent, creative, imaginative, strong, confident and kind! She was always engaging them in fun activities and experiences. I loved watching her interact with them. Many, many times I have gone to Juli when I needed advice about what to do in a particular situation or with a specific child and I have always felt confidence in her advice or suggestions.

David and Juli, July 2008

David and Juli, July 2008

I have also admired her strength and commitment as a wife. Her and David truly moved as if they were one. They have always struck me as a couple who knew how to work together and accomplish great things as a team. Since meeting them, I have admired their relationship and commitment to each other. I loved watching them interact with each other and their children. I loved how they talked to each other and how they held hands whenever they were walking somewhere. I loved how despite the challenges and trials that tested them, they seemed to grow stronger and fight harder for each other. I admire their marriage and relationship. It defies the odds and exemplifies true Christ-like love and devotion. I have been touched over and over by the descriptions of David caring for Juli over these last few days. He was gentle, kind, and fiercely loyal and determined in meeting her every need and ensuring that she was comfortable and cared for down to the last detail.

Several years ago, shortly after Juli had first been diagnosed and undergone the initial rounds of treatment and surgery, I was talking to her on the beach in California. I can’t remember where we were exactly but I will never forget the lesson she taught me. I was asking her about everything she had been through and how she was handling it. She told me the following.
"There were days I would ask myself ‘Why me?’" But I remember the Holy Ghost very powerfully asking me back ‘Why not you? You have the gospel, the priesthood, love of family and friends, temple blessings, and eternal perspective. If we all must pass through the trials of life, what greater blessing than to do so with gospel blessings and perspective."

I will never forget that moment. It is truly how Juli handled every challenge and trial that this period of illness had given her. I never, ever heard Juli complain about her trials. I never heard her feel sorry for herself or be angry at the challenges she faced. I know there were probably private moments of grief and soul-searching but what she threw out to those around her was the peace and confidence that came from really understanding and living the gospel. Numerous times I have marveled at the love the Lord must have for Juli and the great divine plan that is in store for her. This was definitely the Advanced Placement course in life and she passed with flying colors! While some of us struggle to pass remedial lessons, she blazed the path with hope and faith and love.

It is a great blessing to know you Juli. Thank you for your friendship, your patience, your example, and your constant love and support. Thank you for the birthday cards and amazing Christmas gifts and baby gifts and constant small remembrances of us even when you have been so sick and had so much happening in your life. Thank you for reminding me that it is the small and simple things that are the real miracles in life!

I will miss you.