My name is Amy. I have lived in Utah as a "permanent resident" for 17 years. And I have a confession to make...I hate camping.
I don't know why it has always seemed so shameful to admit out loud. I have always yearned for that hearty physical and mental constitution that would send me every weekend scrambling for the pines and the mountains with my sleeping bag and tent. I guess I wondered if developing a taste for the camper's life was a little like hitting puberty. You waited and waited and watched it happen to other people and yearned for the day it would happen to you. I would be a Judy Blume book...camping style. I would think about it, talk about it, watch it happen to my friends, and then one day I would wake up and BOOM! I would know how to set up a tent and cook hobo dinners and think sleeping on the ground was a way for me to reconnect with Mother Earth and my inner nature child.
(Don't get me wrong...I LOVE hiking, being in the mountains, campfires where you go home to your bed afterwards, and all that. It is the physical act of "CAMPING" that doesn't agree with me.)
But I suddenly realized...and embraced...the fact that this is never going to happen.
Ever.
Because if I'm ready to be completely honest, this is the real me:
But every 5-7 years, I get this little itch deep down in my dirt loathing soul. It's the kind of itch I can't quite reach but it drives me crazy until one day when my sister calls and says something about, "Hey! How would you like to join Todd and I for a birthday celebration in the mountains? We're camping...it will be fun" I find myself replying back, "Wow. That sounds great! Yeah...sign us up. We'll go for 2 days instead of one because it will be SO fun we won't want to come back." And then I'm suddenly sitting in a chair by a campfire breathing toxic fumes while watching my 18 month old whip himself into an absolute frenzy while throwing dirt into the air because he has had unlimited, unsupervised access to the giant marshmallow bag! But whoa cowgirl...I just jumped ahead in my tall tale of camping in the woods. Let me back up and do this right...
Todd was turning 39 years old and Carrie decided to throw him a birthday party with a real woodland theme...in the mountains...with fire and dirt and giant marshmallows. Most people agreed that coming up for the evening to roast hot dogs and eat s'mores would be lots of fun. But I was feeling that itch and desperate to get rid of it and so I told her to go ahead and book us for 3 days/2 nights of campground fun. We wouldn't just stay the evening...we'd stay for the weekend!!!
We spent ALL day Thursday packing for the camping trip that was only going to last 2 days now because it was taking us so long to pack. Because we are not seasoned campers, we are not efficient camping packers. Matthew was so anxious to leave that I was sure that at any moment he was going to implode in a small flame of impatience. Now to complicate things a little...not only were we going to go camping, but Chris and the 2 older boys were going to leave the next day to travel even further into the wilderness to attend our ward's father/son camp out where they sleep in a field with no bathrooms and according to Matthew, last year a little boy in our ward had to poop so bad that his dad drove him ALL the way home and then ALL the way back...but apparently that is a completely different story that I'm not touching. The point being that this required taking 2 cars, planning coolers and food for 2 different events/locations, etc. Finally...FINALLY...we departed for the hills.
We arrived at our campground and found out we had the "garden of eden" camp spot...no sarcasm. It really was a beautiful, big camp site directly across from the bathrooms that had FLUSH toilets! Everything about this camp out was going our way. We immediately got to work.
The boys set up the tent. Baby was very good at creating a fun "hide-n-seek" game with the tent stakes, Matthew loved playing woodland ninja with the ax, and Jacob chose a sweet outfit for camping.
I was concerned about the effect that conflicting plaids would have on our fellow campers but Chris quickly ensured me it had a type of "Japanese fashion" feel to it that was probably very advanced dressing for a 12-year old American boy. I just offered yet another silent prayer of gratitude that we had 6 more years of school uniforms ahead of us...and then 2 years of dark suits, white shirts, and ties before he had to venture out into the scary world of learning to wearing matching colors AND patterns. And I figure by then the rest of the world will have caught up with my fashion forward thinker and he will be just fine.
Spencer was very busy taking dirt samples by the mouthful...
...and apparently we forgot to change his diapers for a few hours because every time we looked over we saw this.
HB immediately went to work creating fairy houses for all the woodland fairies. There were rooms for the babies, children, and even the teenagers. It was a work of art.
Camping seems like an ENDLESS stream of loading, unloading, then loading and unloading again...within a very short amount of time. But finally we had unloaded and were ready for a party. And we were not disappointed.
Carrie and Todd's adorable "vintage '71" trailer...
The woods with party decorations. Loved it.
If you study his face carefully, you will see we had an amazing dinner of hot dogs and bratwursts with all the fixins' as well as yummy salads and a whole cooler full of yummy beverages.
Topped off with a s'more bar for dessert. It was perfectly heavenly!
Why do the woods have to have so much dirt??? The 2 little cousin boys could NOT help themselves from picking up handfuls of dirt and just throwing it...right in the middle of the party people. Papa went through at least 2 plates of food because he kept getting rain clouds of dirt landing on his food. Luckily Baby's natural skin tones help to hide some of the dirt damage...
Best part of the evening...listening to Papa tell his stories. This man can tell a story like no other. He truly is the master storyteller. He started telling one child a story and by the end, he had all the other children sitting at his knee begging for "one more"! It was a priceless moment!
Another favorite moment...we sang Happy Birthday to Todd at one point in the evening and Baby, who had been playing in the tent, heard the first few notes of the song and poked his head out saying, "Cake?! Cake?!" That boy knows his stuff!
Well...it was time to see what we were REALLY made off. After the wild ruckus was over, we headed back to our campsite to get ready for bed. Baby had fallen asleep from sheer dirt throwing/marshmallow eating exhaustion and we thought we had dodged a HUGE bedtime bullet by just being able to lay him down. We had brought the port-a-crib and we didn't even bother peeling his dirt infused clothes off him. Just laid him down gently and got ready for bed. He slept for about 2 hours and then woke up screaming his head off. Chris tried to calm him down and ended up taking him to the car because he was being so loud. A few minutes later he brought him back and put him on the air mattress between the 2 of us where Baby proceeded to jump up and down, roll around, giggle, play, talk, and watch You Tube videos on Chris's phone for the next 3.5 hours!!! Finally he fell asleep but he woke up every 20-30 minutes kicking or screaming until 6:00 a.m. when he fell asleep for 2 hours. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, scream, or just go hunt for those yummy chocolate/coconut candy things that I knew were in the car somewhere. On top of it all, our air mattress had a slow leak in it so by 6:00 a.m. when Baby finally fell asleep, we were sleeping on top of the plastic that used to be inflated that was now helping to dull some of the rougher rock edges we were lying on. I'm telling you...where is the fun in all this?
The next morning, I finally got out of bed to go and fix the older kids their "mountain man scramble". Our family firmly believes that when camping you must eat a pork product at every meal. End of discussion.
We spent the day relaxing and hiking at Cascade Springs. I love Cascade Springs...it is BEAUTIFUL! And I'm not kidding when I tell you that just about every time I have gone, I have seen a moose...either at the springs or on the road leading down. Today was no exception...I had just finished telling Chris all about my amazing Moose Whisperer abilities when lo and behold I literally looked up and there was my moose for the day!!! Female moose, looked to be about "teenagerish" age. I am a moose magnet. It is an awesome talent.
After our awesome outing, we headed back to camp for lunch and naps. Because of our awesome sleepless night the night before and the fact Chris and the boys were going to the father/son outing, I opted NOT to stay by myself with an 8 year old and 18 month old in the woods with the signs all over camping announcing how this was black bear country. I can personally testify that my little chocolate baby is plumb and delicious and I know how much self-control I have around him...I wasn't about to take a chance with a hungry bear. So we packed up...and I left for home. HB and I immediately showered and headed out to Cafe Rio for dinner and to get stuff for ice cream sundaes. Civilization never looked so clean!
So why do it? When you hate camping so much that you are willing to devote an entire blog post to it, why do it? I'll tell you why...
Because nothing in the world touches my nature deprived soul like the sound of the wind rustling the aspen trees.
Because nothing is more fun than watching my city slicker kids run around a campsite marveling at the large trees and big rocks and discovering "secret" trails and pinecones.
Because despite the dirt...it makes my boys happy. Dirt is happiness for these little men...and for a few moments I can suspend my horror at how dirty their bodies and clothes are and appreciate that because this is the stuff we are made of, it feels natural and right to roll around in it and throw it in the air with carefree abandon and joy.
Because it teaches kids to work hard. If you want to sleep, you better figure out how to put a tent. If you want to eat, figure out how to fix your food. If you want a fire, learn to chop wood and build one. If you don't want bears eating you, learn to clean up properly.
Because food tastes better cooked over a campfire and s'mores can only be eaten if the marshmallows have been roasted.
Because everyone looks happy, relaxed, and beautiful by the light of a big, roaring fire.
Because my children don't have a lick of technology and choose instead to play with each other and their cousins and pull up chairs to listen to their grandfather tell stories and talk to their parents!
Because the best stories I've ever told or heard have been around a campfire.
Because the stars are so bright at night that you feel like you can reach out and pick them right out of the sky.
Because it is so quiet that you aren't distracted by all the noise we have in our every day life.
Because we need nature in all its beauty, splendor, and glory. "All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small, All things wise and wonderful, The Lord God made them all!"
And so I will continue to pull out my camping gear every few years and grit my teeth and head to the hills for some camping because sometimes the itch just needs to be scratched.
It was a glorious weekend when all was said and done. It really was.
