August Vignettes

Vignettes is a real word, right? It means "little, tiny stories"...or something like that...I think.

I started my entire educational career at the age of 5 at an international British school while my family was living in Sweden. I don't remember learning a lick of "phonics" anything...we just "felt" the words like any whole language curriculum teaches you do. I am therefore a voracious reader who can't pronounce anything correctly. Given the sheer number of books I read, I think my husband is still scratching his head as to why he has to correct my pronunciation of words so much. Thereby giving a long, slightly off topic and not very interesting explanation of my misuse...and possible misspelling...of the word "vignette".

(Snore.)

So Vignette #1. I'd like to title this piece "How to Destory the General Young Women's President's Office in Under a Minute." One of my darling sister-in-laws is in town visiting and so we decided to go take a tour of the Relief Society building in Salt Lake City and see if the General Young Women's President was in. From the moment we followed the custodial woman into the building via the secret underground parking garage and gave her a stroke because we were strangers who were blabbing about "so and so is my mom and I just wanted to visit her and so and so said we could come" and we had just entered a secure building and were we crazy and was she going to lose her job...I knew we were in trouble. I could just see it in the beautiful chocolate brown eyes of my destructive 19-month old. I could almost see his brain chugging away as he surveyed the landscape of potential things to touch/taste/throw. He is obsessed with elevator buttons and is now old enough to reach all of them. He can easily summon his very own elevator but can usually only reach the "alarm" button once he is inside. True story...ask the staff and faculty at Odyssey Charter School. So after the poor custodial woman had a stroke, we stepped onto the elevator with the entire General Relief Society Presidency where my little son took the opportunity to throw a tantrum because the 1st counselor had the NERVE to press the button when he thinks it is his sacred privilege and duty. Try laughing off a tantrum crammed in a tiny elevator with people whose pictures have been in the Ensign. I'm sure I said many an awkward thing...I'm just grateful they didn't call security on us.

Finally we made it upstairs. These beautiful offices were designed with mature adults in mind...so bringing 5 children under the age of 8 onto the premises starts really quickly to feel like a semi-bad idea. One of the amazing women who works in the office had actually invested in some toys since I think my Mo sees a pretty steady stream of little people come through the office. Hannah immediately went to work on the fabulous cupcake sticker book while Spencer took the little toy tool box blocks and created weapons of mass destruction. He was throwing them at pictures, crystal, and people. Then he climbed the beautiful yellow satin chairs to sit on the table and try to pour himself a glass of water. Next was the mixed nut bowl followed closely by another attempt at pouring himself a cup of water. I finally picked up his squirming, squealing little body and took him out in the lobby where in the short time it took me to pick up the mixed nuts being ground into the carpet, he had found a stack of Ensign magazine and was hurling them at the potted plants. I grabbed him under one arm and tried to pick up Ensign magazines with the other when suddenly Spencer looked up and with one chubby finger pointing at the picture on the wall, he said, "Jesus!" It was like he looked up and suddenly discovered this good friend standing in front of him. He said, "Jesus" again and then proceeded to fold his arms, bow his head, and say, "Amen." Amen indeed. Just when this little boy is on the brink of being hauled out to the sidewalk and handed over to the seagulls, he reminds me that inside that rambunctious little body is a magnificent spirit child...a true, noble son of God. And I went from being insane to being humbled once again at the privilege and blessing of being a mother and having them insanely wonderful little people in my life. 

(P.S. Remind me sometime to tell the story of how we went over to see the general primary presidency and he literally hung onto the primary president's leg and drooled on her skirt and begged for candy...it was awesome!)

Vignette #2: "It Sounded Like a Good Idea At the Time"

HB is attending a new school. We clocked it one day in the car and found it was exactly 3.5 miles from our home. The road meanders through beautiful neighborhoods and pass pretty "country" and wouldn't it be SO fun to ride our bikes to school in the fall.

Like any great mishap, it all started out so innocently.

We decided to do what we had dreamed of and ride our bikes to her school. We left 30 minutes early to allow for plenty of time. We had our Hello Kitty helmets, baby strapped into his seat on the back of my bike, and cool water to drink. It was the second day of school so HB had on a snappy, crisp, new outfit with her darling owl backpack on her back. And for the first 10 minutes, it was all that we had dreamed.

Now the funny part about driving your car versus riding your bike is that:

a) You don't notice how the entire route is slightly uphill the whole way.

b) You forget how big your bottom is when sitting on a tiny bike seat with a baby's legs being smushed under you.

c) You don't realize that biking with 25 lbs. of extra squirming weight can really make those "subtle" hills feel like Mount Everest.

We hit the first "big" hill and despite pedaling furiously in 1st gear, I had to stop and walk. I checked my clock. We were 1 mile into the 3.5 mile trip and we only had 15 minutes until school started. My legs already felt like over cooked spaghetti and HB was starting to panic. "Go HB! You have to be strong and ride without me! Go! I'll catch up with you!" My daughter was torn between her red faced, panting, sweaty mother and the fact that she was about to be late for school. We finally made it to the top of the hill and realized that what seemed like a short jaunt through the fields in the car was suddenly a REALLY long stretch of uphill road. I didn't know what to do. We were too far to turn back but far enough away from school that we were going to be late. I felt like I was in a really bad dream where you know you have to be somewhere and you are late but you physically cannot get yourself there. We had to keep riding.

Somewhere along that country road, HB said, "You know Mom, this would be a really beautiful bike ride...IF MY LEGS WEREN'T FALLING OFF!" She pedaled, she huffed and puffed, and finally....FINALLY...we made it to school. Her face was a strange shade of red/pink/purple. Her darling hair was now matted and sweaty where her helmet had been and sticking out in strange places where it hung below the helmet. Her crisp new outfit was crumpled and had a funky smell to it. I'd like to say we raced into her class but the reality was that we limped and hobbled down the hall and to her classroom where I threw open the door and profusely apologized to her teacher for being an "idealist" and not fully appreciating how chubby, old, and out of shape I am. I'm sure I was quite the spectacle and have been "marked" by school security. It was so embarrassing...although maybe not as embarrassing as having to call my best friend and ask if she could come pick Spencer and I up. No WAY was I climbing back on that torture device...and no WAY was Baby going back in that seat with his legs falling asleep and my backside as his primary view. I have now limited myself to bike rides around the block. Period.

Vignette #3: How All the "Big" Kids Have Gone Back to School and I Take Long Naps in the Big, Blue Chair While They Are Gone.

Maybe the title says it all.

School has started and we are adjusting to a new reality with 3 kids at 3 different schools on 3 different schedules with Activity Days, soccer practices, soccer games, scouts, homework, Young Men's, etc. thrown in for good measure. This time of the year is always bittersweet as I send my kids back to school and realize that another year has started. Even though the summer was a little long this year, I still miss them. I still stand on the front porch every time one of them leaves for school and find myself offering that silent but deeply heart felt prayer that the world will be good and kind to my children and that they will be brought home safely to me at the end of the day. And I love the quiet moment in the late morning when Baby and I sit together in the blue armchair watching his planet video on You Tube enjoying an ice cold bottle/glass of milk while we both nod off to sleep. Life is chaotic and busy and full of adventure...and it is so good. 

I'm truly, deeply grateful.

To Camp or Not To Camp...

Dear Fellow Utahns,

My name is Amy. I have lived in Utah as a "permanent resident" for 17 years. And I have a confession to make...I hate camping.

I don't know why it has always seemed so shameful to admit out loud. I have always yearned for that hearty physical and mental constitution that would send me every weekend scrambling for the pines and the mountains with my sleeping bag and tent. I guess I wondered if developing a taste for the camper's life was a little like hitting puberty. You waited and waited and watched it happen to other people and yearned for the day it would happen to you. I would be a Judy Blume book...camping style. I would think about it, talk about it, watch it happen to my friends, and then one day I would wake up and BOOM! I would know how to set up a tent and cook hobo dinners and think sleeping on the ground was a way for me to reconnect with Mother Earth and my inner nature child.

(Don't get me wrong...I LOVE hiking, being in the mountains, campfires where you go home to your bed afterwards, and all that. It is the physical act of "CAMPING" that doesn't agree with me.)

But I suddenly realized...and embraced...the fact that this is never going to happen.

Ever.

Because if I'm ready to be completely honest, this is the real me:

Well, since we are being completely honest...me without the coiffed, curled hair...or pretty, clean, all white, ironed looking nightgown...or lipsticked lips.

But every 5-7 years, I get this little itch deep down in my dirt loathing soul. It's the kind of itch I can't quite reach but it drives me crazy until one day when my sister calls and says something about, "Hey! How would you like to join Todd and I for a birthday celebration in the mountains? We're camping...it will be fun" I find myself replying back, "Wow. That sounds great! Yeah...sign us up. We'll go for 2 days instead of one because it will be SO fun we won't want to come back." And then I'm suddenly sitting in a chair by a campfire breathing toxic fumes while watching my 18 month old whip himself into an absolute frenzy while throwing dirt into the air because he has had unlimited, unsupervised access to the giant  marshmallow bag! But whoa cowgirl...I just jumped ahead in my tall tale of camping in the woods. Let me back up and do this right...

Todd was turning 39 years old and Carrie decided to throw him a birthday party with a real woodland theme...in the mountains...with fire and dirt and giant marshmallows. Most people agreed that coming up for the evening to roast hot dogs and eat s'mores would be lots of fun. But I was feeling that itch and desperate to get rid of it and so I told her to go ahead and book us for 3 days/2 nights of campground fun. We wouldn't just stay the evening...we'd stay for the weekend!!!

We spent ALL day Thursday packing for the camping trip that was only going to last 2 days now because it was taking us so long to pack. Because we are not seasoned campers, we are not efficient camping packers. Matthew was so anxious to leave that I was sure that at any moment he was going to implode in a small flame of impatience. Now to complicate things a little...not only were we going to go camping, but Chris and the 2 older boys were going to leave the next day to travel even further into the wilderness to attend our ward's father/son camp out where they sleep in a field with no bathrooms and according to Matthew, last year a little boy in our ward had to poop so bad that his dad drove him ALL the way home and then ALL the way back...but apparently that is a completely different story that I'm not touching. The point being that this required taking 2 cars, planning coolers and food for 2 different events/locations, etc. Finally...FINALLY...we departed for the hills.

We arrived at our campground and found out we had the "garden of eden" camp spot...no sarcasm. It really was a beautiful, big camp site directly across from the bathrooms that had FLUSH toilets! Everything about this camp out was going our way. We immediately got to work.

The boys set up the tent. Baby was very good at creating a fun "hide-n-seek" game with the tent stakes, Matthew loved playing woodland ninja with the ax, and Jacob chose a sweet outfit for camping.

I was concerned about the effect that conflicting plaids would have on our fellow campers but Chris quickly ensured me it had a type of "Japanese fashion" feel to it that was probably very advanced dressing for a 12-year old American boy. I just offered yet another silent prayer of gratitude that we had 6 more years of school uniforms ahead of us...and then 2 years of dark suits, white shirts, and ties before he had to venture out into the scary world of learning to wearing matching colors AND patterns. And I figure by then the rest of the world will have caught up with my fashion forward thinker and he will be just fine. 

Spencer was very busy taking dirt samples by the mouthful...

...and apparently we forgot to change his diapers for a few hours because every time we looked over we saw this. 

HB immediately went to work creating fairy houses for all the woodland fairies. There were rooms for the babies, children, and even the teenagers. It was a work of art.

Camping seems like an ENDLESS stream of loading, unloading, then loading and unloading again...within a very short amount of time. But finally we had unloaded and were ready for a party. And we were not disappointed.

Carrie and Todd's adorable "vintage '71" trailer...

The woods with party decorations. Loved it.

If you study his face carefully, you will see we had an amazing dinner of hot dogs and bratwursts with all the fixins' as well as yummy salads and a whole cooler full of yummy beverages.

Topped off with a s'more bar for dessert. It was perfectly heavenly!

Why do the woods have to have so much dirt??? The 2 little cousin boys could NOT help themselves from picking up handfuls of dirt and just throwing it...right in the middle of the party people. Papa went through at least 2 plates of food because he kept getting rain clouds of dirt landing on his food. Luckily Baby's natural skin tones help to hide some of the dirt damage...

Best part of the evening...listening to Papa tell his stories. This man can tell a story like no other. He truly is the master storyteller. He started telling one child a story and by the end, he had all the other children sitting at his knee begging for "one more"! It was a priceless moment!

Another favorite moment...we sang Happy Birthday to Todd at one point in the evening and Baby, who had been playing in the tent, heard the first few notes of the song and poked his head out saying, "Cake?! Cake?!" That boy knows his stuff!

Well...it was time to see what we were REALLY made off. After the wild ruckus was over, we headed back to our campsite to get ready for bed. Baby had fallen asleep from sheer dirt throwing/marshmallow eating exhaustion and we thought we had dodged a HUGE bedtime bullet by just being able to lay him down. We had brought the port-a-crib and we didn't even bother peeling his dirt infused clothes off him. Just laid him down gently and got ready for bed. He slept for about 2 hours and then woke up screaming his head off. Chris tried to calm him down and ended up taking him to the car because he was being so loud. A few minutes later he brought him back and put him on the air mattress between the 2 of us where Baby proceeded to jump up and down, roll around, giggle, play, talk, and watch You Tube videos on Chris's phone for the next 3.5 hours!!! Finally he fell asleep but he woke up every 20-30 minutes kicking or screaming until 6:00 a.m. when he fell asleep for 2 hours. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, scream, or just go hunt for those yummy chocolate/coconut candy things that I knew were in the car somewhere. On top of it all, our air mattress had a slow leak in it so by 6:00 a.m. when Baby finally fell asleep, we were sleeping on top of the plastic that used to be inflated that was now helping to dull some of the rougher rock edges we were lying on. I'm telling you...where is the fun in all this?

The next morning, I finally got out of bed to go and fix the older kids their "mountain man scramble". Our family firmly believes that when camping you must eat a pork product at every meal. End of discussion.

We spent the day relaxing and hiking at Cascade Springs. I love Cascade Springs...it is BEAUTIFUL! And I'm not kidding when I tell you that just about every time I have gone, I have seen a moose...either at the springs or on the road leading down. Today was no exception...I had just finished telling Chris all about my amazing Moose Whisperer abilities when lo and behold I literally looked up and there was my moose for the day!!! Female moose, looked to be about "teenagerish" age. I am a moose magnet. It is an awesome talent.

Cascade Springs is beautiful! The water cascading over all the rocks, down the gently sloping hills is mesmerizing and hypnotic! I love it!

After our awesome outing, we headed back to camp for lunch and naps. Because of our awesome sleepless night the night before and the fact Chris and the boys were going to the father/son outing, I opted NOT to stay by myself with an 8 year old and 18 month old in the woods with the signs all over camping announcing how this was black bear country. I can personally testify that my little chocolate baby is plumb and delicious and I know how much self-control I have around him...I wasn't about to take a chance with a hungry bear. So we packed up...and I left for home. HB and I immediately showered and headed out to Cafe Rio for dinner and to get stuff for ice cream sundaes. Civilization never looked so clean!

So why do it? When you hate camping so much that you are willing to devote an entire blog post to it, why do it? I'll tell you why...

Because nothing in the world touches my nature deprived soul like the sound of the wind rustling the aspen trees.

Because nothing is more fun than watching my city slicker kids run around a campsite marveling at the large trees and big rocks and discovering "secret" trails and pinecones.

Because despite the dirt...it makes my boys happy. Dirt is happiness for these little men...and for a few moments I can suspend my horror at how dirty their bodies and clothes are and appreciate that because this is the stuff we are made of, it feels natural and right to roll around in it and throw it in the air with carefree abandon and joy.

Because it teaches kids to work hard. If you want to sleep, you better figure out how to put a tent. If you want to eat, figure out how to fix your food. If you want a fire, learn to chop wood and build one. If you don't want bears eating you, learn to clean up properly.

Because food tastes better cooked over a campfire and s'mores can only be eaten if the marshmallows have been roasted.

Because everyone looks happy, relaxed, and beautiful by the light of a big, roaring fire.

Because my children don't have a lick of technology and choose instead to play with each other and their cousins and pull up chairs to listen to their grandfather tell stories and talk to their parents!

Because the best stories I've ever told or heard have been around a campfire.

Because the stars are so bright at night that you feel like you can reach out and pick them right out of the sky.

Because it is so quiet that you aren't distracted by all the noise we have in our every day life.

Because we need nature in all its beauty, splendor, and glory. "All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small, All things wise and wonderful, The Lord God made them all!"

And so I will continue to pull out my camping gear every few years and grit my teeth and head to the hills for some camping because sometimes the itch just needs to be scratched.

It was a glorious weekend when all was said and done. It really was.

Summer in a Nutshell...Part 1

Summer is flying by! I spend my days alternating between wanting summer to last forever and counting down the minutes until school starts again...just depends on the moment! I had been experiencing a little of that "mom guilt" about the fact that it didn't seem we had done much this summer until I staredt going through our pictures and now I KNOW why I'm so tired...

This darling munchkin has a talent for being a toddler...I suspect he may be one of the most talented toddlers ever to hit this planet! He is in to EVERYTHING! Entire pitchers of apple juice dumped on the table, walls, furniture, and floors, playing in the toilet (whether it is flushed or not), using people's cell phones to try and clean toilets, unrolling entire rolls of toilet paper/paper towels/Kleenex, etc. He is so FUN but so busy!!!

This is what happens to our amazing toddler at the end of every day! He can't even make it through a full bottle of milk anymore without falling sound asleep!

Jake did a 3 week band camp that he LOVED! 

And he continues to amaze us with his culinary talents...even discovered a sure fire method for keeping those onions at bay!

I really love summer time and dinners outside. Someday we will have a real patio instead of lumpy, uneven grass.

We were able to add some new ancestors to our annual Memorial Day tour. We visited graves in Provo, Orem, and Pleasant Grove...love remembering those people whose lives have truly blessed ours. We are so blessed to have such remarkable family!

Memorial Day Eve we had dinner with Carrie and Todd...this boy sure loves his Dad.

And no party is a "real" party without karaoke! I can do a fabulous Whitney Houston by the way...

Chris really feeling the spirit of the activity!

Sarah and I decided to actually DO something we had pinned on Pinterest...after a TON of plastic wrap, a roll of duct tape, and enough water to flood the whole backyard, we succeeded! And it was truly glorious. It is cool, refreshing, non moist...all the benefits of a water bed but in the backyard.

It was several days of high entertainment!

 

 

Last winter, my uber-fun/super cool cousin sent me a link to a family race being held here in Utah County called the UTAH VALLEY FAMILY ADVENTURE  race. Since I have aspired to be on "Amazing Race" for YEARS now, I figured I mine as well start small and work my way up. Jake, Hannah, Sarah and I did the race...and it was so fun! We ran, biked, canoed, climbed, hunted, and laughed until we cried! We will definitely be back next year...please come join us! It truly was the adventure of a lifetime!!! (And we are proud to say we didn't come in last place...by a hair.)

Chris had a birthday...he turned 25 years old...again.

 Another Pinterest project with fabulous results. Homemade playdough dyed lots of unnatural colors with some dollar store rocks and a dollar store fairy doll. And VOILA...a fairy/mermaid garden! (I would LOVE to live inside Hannah's imagination for a day...I bet it is a fabulous place to play!)

 

 We will pause here for a moment for a darling baby break!

We love Lucky's snow cones. And how convenient of them to place their addictive business within walking distance of our home!

We celebrated Chris' birthday with a big family picnic in the park! I will never cease to be amazed and grateful for the privilege of living close to so many of our family on both sides. It is SUCH a blessing...and always so fun!

 Went to explore the Scheels store one day...rode the ferris wheel, looked at the fish, practiced shooting at the range...now THAT is a retail experience.

Jacob has started babysitting his siblings alot more this summer...he even changed Baby's diaper one day. I was so perplexed about the flaps hanging out the side...but as Jake pointed out, it held together and did the job. I guess you can't argue with that!

At the end of June, we traveled to San Diego for a nephew's wedding! The whole trip was only 4 days long but it was amazing! Beautiful bride, handsome groom, fabulous family, and beautiful beach...my kind of weekend vacation.

The bride is from Korea and she is one amazing girl! They were married in the San Diego temple and then because her parents are not members of the church, they did a beautiful ring ceremony at Courtney's home as well as host a delicious Korean themed dinner! It was a wonderful, beautiful day! The bride's mother was wearing the most exquisite Korean traditional gown...I can't BELIEVE I didn't get a picture of it. I wanted to put my name on masking tape and stick it on the the dress in case she ever decides that she is going to give it away to whoever put their name on the back on masking tape first...Grandma Oscarson style.

On the way home, our car's air conditioning gave out right outside of St. George. I will fully acknowledge that we were enormously blessed that it didn't happen in the middle of the day in Barstow, CA where it was
about 113 degrees. I suggested Chris take us to the temple visitor's center where I knew the air conditioning would be nice and cool, there would be water fountains, and lots of movies to keep us entertained if needs be. Chris looked around under the hood and couldn't see an obvious problem so off we went to find a hero who could tell us what was wrong. After a couple of stops, we finally found a mechanic who told us our air compressor was shot and he could fix it but not until Monday. We debated for half a second before we decided to just gut it out and head for home. We didn't want to be stuck in a hotel in St. George and end up forking out more money over the whole thing. So with the windows cracked and the kids sweating profusely, we pressed on toward Salt Lake. The heat put Baby right to sleep and the rest of the kids were too hot to even talk. I threw wet paper towels at them and we drank lots of water...I was afraid I would be permanently deaf in my right ear after driving with the window down on the highway but we made it home!!! It was another week before we could get it in to fix it...and I won't tell you how much it costs to repair an air compressor because it still makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Chalk it up to another summer adventure...

 We would like to pause again to appreciate how cute my family is...good grief.

A couple of days after returning from San Diego, my nephew and his wife had their reception in Utah. I think maybe one of the favorite moments was riding in the golf cart with chaffeur George. Spencer thought he had died and gone to automobile heaven!

 The Utah reception was held at a sister/brother in law's home that is absolute paradise on so many levels...it has a pool with a 2-story water slide, a zip line, and a tree house that would make any child salivate. It also has some of our very favorite people...

OK, this entry is too long and I'm ready to do something else. But in the spirit of documenting our family's history, I will summarize the rest. 

 Cimberly and Kent came to town for the reception and to bless their beautiful new baby boy! He was blessed on the 4th of July (Kent's birthday) at Kent's home (where Kent was blessed) in the exact same little baby blue tuxedo that Kent was blessed in. Awesome!

Earlier that morning, the kids were all able to ride Uncle J's WWII tank in the big Freedom Festival parade in Provo...an annual tradition they look forward to all year. Baby and I stayed home since standing in the heat with crowds of people isn't our style.

 Later that afternoon Mo and Papa took us all to see a movie. Abby came into town with her 4 little darlings and it was heavenly. Air conditioning, buttery popcorn, and sit in a comfortable chair while I am entertained IS my kind of thing!

We spent the following week with lots and lots of family and cousins and sisters and aunts and grandparents...just the way a summer should be.

 Jake went to scout camp for a week. I was terrified and he was so excited. When I went to pick him up at the end of the week, I asked, "So...were you homesick? Did you miss us?" He looked uncomfortable for a couple of seconds and then said, "Mom...uh, not to hurt you feelings or anything but no." And then he talked for the next week about how much he wanted to go back! Kids growing up is so hard  on mothers' hearts!

 Matthew has started playing with a new team. It is up a level from where he was playing last year so we are feeling the intensity. Twice a week practices and tournaments...and the "official" season hasn't even started!!! Yikes!

 This baby ADORES his Papa!

 His team took second place in their age division at their first tournament! So proud of these boys and how hard they work. It is really fun to watch them play. Who knew I was such a soccer fan?

 Love these sweet boy cousins together. They are good buddies and there is nothing more fun than a cousin your age!

Spencer is addicted to a book about stars and planets. When he is unable to find someone to read him the book for the 100th time that day, he will sit in the blue chair and read it to himself. Love his independence!

OK, enough. We may need to take a little break. Setting a goal and then falling behind on your goal makes everything so complicated. I will try and do better....starting next month.

Hope your summer is filled with popsicles and naps!