My mother once gave me some profound dating advice...she said, "Amy, don't ever end a relationship over something that can be waxed, plucked, or fixed at The Gap." While I realize this reveals one of the shallow, insensative sides of my personality (or the fact that commitment terrified me so much that I was using some pretty pathetic excuses for ending relationships), I can now appreciate the sentiment. I'm sitting here in a chair actually scratching my scalp pretty regularly because I am in desperate need of a shower. Then it got me thinking about all the other "physical hygiene" things I probably need:
1) A haircut and color job
2) Eyebrow waxing and overall "facial" hair removal (nothing dark and course, just light and fuzzy)
3) Ear cleaning
4) Chapstick
5) Good body wash
6) An overall shaving of body places that are "culturally offensive" to let hair grow wild, especially with the all important "bathing suit" season upon us
7) A manicure
8) A pedicure
9) Help with really dry, cracked heels
I really could go on and on. While I don't want you to imagine some horrific beast sitting at a computer in her own filth, why is it that being a girl demands so much effort? My husband just wandered in and out of the room and I would really be willing to bet you that if I asked him what he thought would physically help alter his current state, he'd say, "Well, I have a couple hairs on my neck bothering me. Would you mind giving them a trim tomorrow?" Ah, the simple life. I'd just really like to get my hands on the women in history who got everyone thinking that women needed this complication just to be hygenically presentable. And I haven't even touched wardrobe, make-up, shoes, or accessories.
I need a simpler existence. When I get in the shower, it is usually with 3 little time bombs ticking away out on the couch with as much junk food and Tom & Jerry videos as I think will entertain them until I get clean. I actually find myself asking things like, "What is more important today? Clean hair or clean armpits? Only got time for one." I now find myself applauding the guys I dated with the unibrows, hairy backs and strange colored toe nails...I'd like to think they are off making a huge difference in the world with all the time they are saving in the bathroom.
8 comments:
Ha ha. I've always wanted one of those cool showers from The Jetsons, where you just step in and come out with teeth brusehd, perfect hair, dressed and looking perfectly lovely. The only flaw - Jane Jetson (that was her name, wasn't it?) was always wearing the same clothes, with the exact same hair-do - not one strand out of place. At least we are not clones of ourselves every day! Think about it this way - its like a little daily (weekly, monthly?) suprise - what will I choose to wash/shave/pluck etc today?
You do know that this too shall pass and some day, sooner than you think, you will be able to groom at your leisure. Trust me, I know.
I was thinking about this the other day---how much more I could be doing if it didn't take so much time/money to paint my nails, get my skin the right color, etc...
I also love that everyone keeps saying "this too shall pass." I have also frequently used it since You've Got Mail came out.
I finally showered and put on a dab of lipstick just before Taylor got home from work today. It wasn't for him. It was for me. :) Thanks for introducing me to "Pink Rhinestone" Maybelline lipstick, Mo! I have noticed that I am much more prone to actually "get dressed" if I can get excited about what I'll put on...like a bit of new lipstick.
We took care of half of that list this week! Doesn't that make you happy? Goodbye cracked heels and blah toe nails...goodbye "old" hair and hello "va-voom"! If it makes you feel any better, I hate showering and grooming even without the ticking time bombs. I just hate doing my own hygene, which is why I need to be ridiculously rich, so that I can pay others to do it for me...
*chuckle* This is a battle, I too, fight. It is soo time consuming, and after all, I can BLOG instead, right? *laughing*
I always save my secrets, to prompt myself to get dressed for the day. (You will very VERY often find me in some of these, I have convinced myself, are chick, flannel and cotton pj bottoms that are SO comfortable, and not nearly as boring as "sweats") But, I will say, okay shower, and at least comb through your hair... and you may have... um One cookie.
*chuckle*
It is very odd to realize that * I * bribe myself.
Good grief.
Where have you gone? Missing your posts...
P.S. Did my secret muffin recipe work? :)
Where the HECK are you? For crying outloud! I need some blog reading material!!!!
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