Yesterday in church I was having a conversation with a friend where I started a sentence by saying, "Well, Hannah's therapist told me..." My friend passed through an obvious range of emotions before holding up her hand and saying, "Whoa. I'm sorry. Hannah's therapist?" Given that sweet Hannah is 5 months old and that I didn't preface "therapist" with "PHYSICAL therapist" created some confusion although the ensuing conversation convinced me that maybe we really should start our children in therapy when they are young. I've considered keeping a notebook of all the bad mothering moments I've had to save my children money on therapy when they are older. Instead of spending the first 10 sessions recalling all the horrors, they could just hand the notebook to the therapist and get on to undoing all the damage. I should insert a disclaimer here that really I do try my best but way too often I go to bed with all the ungraceful moments I've had that day floating around in my head. I adore my children...love them from head to toe but I always like to start conversations with people I've never met that are either considering motherhood or just beginning motherhood with the warning, "I'm not a graceful mother. I promise that whatever you witness here today is not a reflection on how it has to be. I like to do things the hard way."
Today my children and I all ate breakfast on the floor because I've removed all chairs and stepping devices from our lives to keep Matthew out of the cupboards.
Tonight for dinner my boys had Cocoa Pebbles with bananas, 1/2 a frozen Cotton Candy gogurt and a paper towel with a piece of turkey on it.
At the wedding reception Saturday night I actually told Jake he had to eat 4 more bites of his butter frosted cake before he could have the mints (as if eating the cake were somehow healthier than the mints).
Hannah went to church yesterday with her onesie hanging out the sleeves of her cute tulip dress and by the end of church I'd stripped her of her ruffle socks, darling shoes, and head bow because I couldn't stand how confined she looked.
I actually had a conversation with a mother today that went EXACTLY like this:
Perfect mother: Excuse my hands. They're blue because the kids and I were dying wool in the backyard today.
Me: Dying wool?
Perfect mother: Yes. We dye the wool in Kool Aid (Sugar free kind I'm sure) and then prepare the wool for knitting.
Me: Yeah, we watched 3 straight hours of PBS Kids today.
Perfect mother: (Polite but horrified laugh) Oh, that's why we don't have cable.
Me: Yeah, I only have cable to keep me from giving away my children between 3:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. every day.
(Awkward silence)
I could have kept my mouth shut but it just begged to be said. And don't think I haven't called my husband on his cell phone and told him he could stay at work as late as he needed but if he stepped in that door one minute pass 6:00 p.m., he would have to go pick his children up at the neighbor's house.
Yes, starting therapy in infancy doesn't sound like such a bad thing. Happy Mother's Day!
5 comments:
Ah, I too have experienced the horrors of saying "Ethan's therapist" *chuckle* I usually add that he has NINE. *Grin* I am such a rudey butt.
I love that you watch PBS with your kids, and that you don't DYE wool in the back yard. *rolling eyes*
My Mom told me once, that she remembers distinctly an Aunt, who was a "clean freak" at her funeral, all anyone had to say was how clean she was. My Mom has assured me, more than once, that * I * will not have that problem.
Have you heard this little phrase? I have it on a welcome sign outside my front door.
"Cleaning the house, while the children are still growing, is like shoveling the walk, while its still snowing"
I love, that we play with our children, and you are right, they will remember! My older ones do. For that, I will be ever grateful!
If we all educated ourselves to be therapists as well as mothers, would we save a lot of money? Could we do counseling at the same time we are messing our children up? How many counselors' children need therapy from an independent source? Why does that mother dye her own wool? Is she really having fun or does she just do it to be able to tell others she is doing it? These are the truly important questions that beg an answer. BTW, PBS is good thing. You guys were raised on it and your therapy needs have been minimal.....
I have forgotten. Does Hanna have therapy for her tortacollis? PT?
Ethan has speech, physical and occupational, as well as a... music, aqua, and a new "expressions" therapist. Have they given her a TOT collar?
Lisa,
Hannah is going to PT for torticullis (I guess if my child is going to have a condition that needs explaining, I could at least learn to spell it!). They have just moved her to every other week though and the flat side of her head is really reshaping itself pretty well as she is growing. Occasionally I see signs of her tilted head but overall I can't even tell anymore. Her biggest weakness now is a lack of endurance with her neck muscles. They get tired really easily! Do you see steady improvements with Ethan and his physical therapy?
Thank you so much for answering. I guess we could do email, if this isn't convinent, but for me it works just fine. *Smile*
Ethan's progress is SO slow. It is hard for me, sometimes.
He is doing so much now, that he used to not be able to do, but... when I compair him to other babies, (And I know that is SOO VERY UNHEALTHY, but at times I just can not help myself) It seems so crazy slow.
Ethan has really poor head and upper torso control. We had a tot collar for his torticullis like symptoms and that really helped A LOT. He doesn't hold his head to the left anymore. Now he just doesn't hold his head up AT all. *rolling eyes*
He is though, making sure, slow, steady improvement, and I just need to learn to relax and take a chill pill. My PT (from EI) is a wonderful man, who comes all the way from Logan, and he actually scolded me, not so long ago for my poor attitude and negitivity. He also clued me into some "pride" issues he thinks I might have. (Like, I don't take Ethan out, with his braces on, ect) It was a HUGE wake up call to me. I wasn't even really "aware" I was doing it.
I also have avoided church. This has become a big heart, gut wrenching thing for me. There are nine babies in our ward that are with in a few months either direction of E. They are all walking and running around, and I have the worst feelings when I am at church, sitting in S.M. watching them.
I am so surprised at my feelings. NOt that I wish them ill. It just is a huge, devistation, re-affirmation of where we are "not". I know his is out side forces working on me, and I also know this is the time I really need to cling to those spirital elements. It is just almost become, something I "can't" do anymore.
I have yet to make it through sacrament, with out crumpling into tears. Even if I don't have Ethan with me. Through the RSV season, I tried leaving him with my Mom, as our pediatrician forbid me taking him.
This all seems a cycle of self pity, which I usually don't give into. I have never had such problems with my emotions as I have in the last year and a half.
So, slowly I have just quit going, or will pop in for RS sometimes. My older kids go, and every once and a while I do, but it is just... overwhelming to me.
I really need to buck up. I keep thinking that this too shall pass. I have ernestly asked for patience and understanding. I have had blessings. I am just struggling with this.
Good Heavens, this turned into a pity party, didn't it? Heavens, sorry about that.
Anyway...From what I understand the stamina will slowly return. That is one thing that I have really seen with Ethan. He is getting stronger.
Thanks for keeping in touch with me.
*smile*
Lisa
Lisa@Madsenfamily.net
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