I love "free" offers. So this last month I sent in my coupon to receive a free copy of a brand new magazine called "Cookie". It was advertised as being a magazine that offered "all the best for your family". What it failed to mention was that it is all the best for your family if you happen to be REALLY, REALLY rich. I knew I was in trouble when I opened the cover and found a succession of ads for Ralph Lauren, Burberry, DKNY and Guess clothing for CHILDREN! Then it elaborated on the items the models on the front cover were wearing...the darling mother kneeling down on the dirty ground at the park snuggling with her child is wearing a fur-trimmed silk faille jacket by Prada ($3,555), a red henley ($306), stovepipe pants ($310), earrings ($2310), leather flats ($625), and carrying a heritage velvet brocade bag by Prada ($2140).
I'd like to contrast that with the outfit I am wearing.
Today I am wearing a black knit Tshirt from TJ Maxx ($8.00), a black knee length skirt from Old Navy ($12), underwear, a bra ($12.00), flip flops ($5.00) and carrying a faux leather purse that was given to me free by my neighbor. I'm sure my fossil watch cost around $65.00 and my husband won't tell me how much my wedding ring cost.
Even though I was painfully out of my league, I just had to keep reading.
Fun recipes for the kids included Almond butter and finger bananas on fruit bread, prosciutto, fried egg and parmesan on country bread, and oven-baked chicken and slow roasted tomatoes on a baguette. If you are looking for a fun getaway for your family, they recommended a surfing camp in Brazil. But then came my favorite article about the stresses of carpooling kids to school.
And I quote, "It's important to be honest when problems arise--but try to withhold judgment. If, for example, your kid tells you that Kelly's mom gave him a Twinkie, and you have a strict no-trans-fat rule, you can let it go or bring it up without sounding like a snack snob..." Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not bright enough, or skinny enough, to make these things up. If someone gave my kid a Twinkie in carpool I'd be licking the crumbs off his shirt when he got home. I don't buy Twinkies because I'd eat the whole box.
I really could go on and on. C. and I sat for about an hour one night marvelling at the strange lives some people live. We alternated between horror, strange fascination, and flat out hysterical laughing. We debated at the end if we should get a subscription just for the sheer entertainment value but we were afraid they would do a salary check to see if we were classy enough. Well, until I can figure out what prosciutto is and whether or not Wal-Mart sells baguettes, I may just have to lay in my Hello Kitty pajamas (Target, $14.00) on my donated couch (thanks Mo and Papa!) and dream!
9 comments:
he, hee. It's a market all it's own, and I've seen it in action. it is stange and unusual and judgemental and pretty much makes no one feel good about themselves...or anyone else for that matter.
it is quite fascinating and entertaining. I think they like it that way.
I'll take free couches and target prices any day. I wouldn't want someone to think they had to compete with me--I'm way too intimidating. (since can't see my face or hear my voice, I'll let you in on the fact that I was being sarcastic about being intimidating.)
It's one of my favourite reads at the "salon"! Definate entertainment value for anyone outside of the classy Oprah magazine readers! Do these people really exist?
Great post :)
They do exist--one day after visiting J. at the office, Cubby and I waited at a very nice neighborhood park nearby in swanky River Oaks, where I quickly realized all the ladies that pulled up with kids in Mercedes SUV's had something in common--they were all Latino, and the children were all white, babies and all. They must have been very confused to see me there with my matching baby.
What entertainment! Where can I get my copy?!
And to think they thought they had ended this sort of thing with Marie Antionette. My my my the more things change the more they stay the same.
I know, Clark and I were totally discussing the decline in family values over our prossciutto parmesan baguettes last night. But our conversation was cut short because Haley spilled red wine on her burberry skort and the nanny had to discipline her...she got her blackberry and segway taken away for an entire week!
Hey! I have a lot of fond memories of surf camp in Brazil...or is that fat camp in Buhl? Anyway, I think it is time that we became more sensitive to the needs of America's rich. I mean, who is going to watch out for them if the poor and middle class do not?
We have an uncle who would send us itemized letters of where he and his family went (China, Hawaii, Russia, Japan, Scotland, to name a few...), what they ate, what it cost, what they bought, what it cost...all in minute, meticulous, and over-the-top detail...We always use to joke that we would someday send our own "version" that would go something like this:
"...we found the most quaint toilet seat, a nice alabaster color, sturdy enough for any girth, that would replace our cracked and discolored one in the downstairs bathroom...we found it during our weekly "blue-light special" trip to our local Kmart, and could not let this "gem" elude us as we doled out our three dollars and thirteen cents..."
I want a copy of the magazine...I want to let my cousins know "what I've been up to..."
(hee hee hee!)
I think it is important that we are exposed to other cultures, otherwise, who would we have to make fun of? It would not be politically correct to make fun of the poor, but thank heavens, the rich are open game!
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