It totally hit me tonight. I've become this:
"I'm late, I'm late!
For a very important date...
No time to say Hello, Good bye
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late."
I'm sitting at my computer tonight with a million projects laying on the desk. New Beginnings program, 3rd grade CET activities on early explorers, a story I need to finish the 1st draft on and submit, CLAU titles and info I need to post, emails to answer, a birthday party to plan, invitations to make and deliver, a song to learn and be ready to teach on Sunday, a meeting to plan an agenda for, a vacation to get ready to go on, etc.
And tonight I found out a friend had a terrible thing happen this week and I didn't know about it. I have felt tragically sad all night...sad for my friend and this event that has occurred and so, so sad that I didn't know it had happened.
I am living moment to moment...event to event. I finish one responsibility, breathe for 2 seconds and then look at what is "due" next. Every project is worthwhile...I don't feel like I'm wasting time on things that aren't important but it is definitely possible to overextend ourselves with "great" things. How did Dallin H. Oaks put it? Good, Better, Best ?!
I need more time to breathe and eat and sleep. I need more time to take longs walks and bike rides with my kids. I need more time for the Spirit to whisper what is most important and teach me how to be the wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend/etc. that these special people around me need me to be. In trying to do everything, I don't feel like I'm doing anything well.
I have such good intentions. There is so much I want to do and try and see and experience. But there is a time and season for everything...and those times and seasons extend over a lifetime...not all at once.
Isn't it funny how our greatest tools for distraction can be good things? If Satan can get us so busy doing so many things, then he can distract us from the things that really matter. Sneaky little devil.
I'm so sorry I haven't called you this week. I'm so sorry I haven't showed up with cupcakes and hot chocolate and insisted that you sit and tell me what is happening in your life. I'm sorry I haven't been sensative to your needs and how I could have eased your burdens. I'm sorry I've been distracted.
I'm learning and growing. Please be patient with me. I'm a slow learner...but I have confidence that I can master this. One thing at a time...one step at a time. And I am learning to be content even when things aren't moving at a neck breaking speed.
And when I catch a minute, I'm going to work on that "white rabbit" gut.
8 comments:
I forget other people all the time...that is one thing that I want to be better at. Hopefully everyone understands how busy we get in our own lives...and hopefully we all get better at listening to the needs outside!! I have a pretty good feeling that you were loving and helpful to others all week, no matter what you think.
I feel this same way!! Too much to do, too little time...and the things that I put on the back burner I should have on the Front!! You are a great friend, mom, sister, etc etc!! Have a great week :)
I think there is a season for everything. You will always be busy but right now just having a young family is busy. Life gets in the way of everyone's good intentions. Luckily, we are all in the same boat. And we do understand. However, I am NEVER too busy for cupcakes and hot chocolate...when can you come over?
I've had a slow week and I'm pretty sure I still didn't accomplish a wholoe lot of good. I fear that when I'm where you are I will be way too good at saying no and sitting on my rear (with ice cream, shewing kids away)...I think very few people have it just right.
But you did call me this week just to see how I was doing. See, you're doing better than you think!
I forget most things, am horrible at calling people back, and I make my phone remind me to do things like remember mason is coming home from school at 2:15 or that I need to remember to print something. I actually think I'm getting used to feeling like I'm in a tornado at all times. haha. But just so you know, you're not the only one. I figure it's helped me realize some of the important things (and that I CAN sometimes ask for help and it's ok).
Ah! will you please plan a play date for your children to come and hang out with us and will you take some time for yourself and Chris?
I'm sorry you haven't shown up with cupcakes and hot chocolate, too. We could sit out on the porch in the shade (where it's cooler--so, yes, we need hot chocolate) and watch the kids play kickball in the cul-de-sac, or make chalk drawings of stick figures in pink princess dresses on the driveway and talk about all the amazing things you do and all you have done for me! You inspire me! Come visit.
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