Mary Poppins Has Left the House...

 

My friend Liz summarized it best this weekend...Mary Poppins has left the house...and dang the kids miss her. 

So the experiment has started. We've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm been really surprised by some parts...and not so surprised by others. Here is the short version...

The kids did not have a big reaction to the letter...they did comment on how long it was and did they have to read the WHOLE thing?! I think they were a little surprised by the literal description of all the surprises they left behind...and of course they spent 5 minutes defending themselves and throwing each other under the metaphorical bus when it came to who left the poop smeared on the floor. But reality sunk in over the next 24 hours as they discovered that their clothes buckets really were totally bare...and their closets...and their shoe cubbies in the garage. We talked several times about learning to be grateful for what we have...even if it isn't exactly what we wanted. Learning to see the glass half full instead of half empty...we may not have our gold glitter shoes but wow!...aren't you glad for your boots with the fleece lining when it is so cold outside? And when those are your ONLY shoes, you are much more conscientious about taking care of them.

"In truth, however, my REAL responsibility as a mother is to teach, not to handle tasks for them" (Cleaning House, pg. 19).

But here was the unexpected lesson I learned this weekend...my kids had a much smaller reaction to losing all their clothes because they have so much that they just don't care. There are a couple of items that they missed (Jake asked about his space camp shirt and Hannah asked if she could trade one of her outfits for her "Paris poodle" outfit) but I honestly don't think they will be interested in "buying" back half of what is in those buckets I put away. They won't even be able to tell me what is missing in a couple of days. And they aren't the ones that bought themselves all those clothes. It was ME! My children can get by on much less than we have given them. When they have to work and save and plan for things, they value it much greater which translates to being more aware and taking care of it. They understand its value...they have invested in it personally...and they are MUCH more likely to want to take care of it on their own. I realize I am preaching to the choir on this one...and that I am an EXTREMELY slow learner...but what a humbling lesson. The darling Gymboree outfits speak to me louder than they do my daughter...and it is hard because I love buying fun things for her. The Costco baby outfits scream to me...not my baby...and it is FUN! But in the long run, it has been detrimental to our family and our state of clutter. And so I have been reminded that my focus needs to shift elsewhere. Anything we buy, we have to care for. It will suck some of our time and energy...and is it worth that? Looking at what I buy through the lens of what I am willing to "manage" changes things considerably. If I bring it into the house, then I have to be prepared to find a place for it, pick it up, wash it, fix it, nag someone over it...and suddenly that just sounds plain exhausting!

And so I have learned not only to consider what I buy and bring IN to our home, but I have also learned to look at what we HAVE in our home with new eyes. I have filled 2 big boxes to be taken to D.I. because I want things to be used and appreciated and if our family is not capable or willing to do that, then I want a family who will.

"The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced the failure to take personal responsibility is an endemic issue for our culture. As our kids age, the youth entitlement problem leads to a needy society, incapable of critical thinking; incapable of making decisions; incapable of problem solving, creating, deducing, finding cures. Being overserved leads to atrophy of personal initiative. No wonder our kids opt out rather than dive into responsibility-laden opportunities" (Cleaning House, pg. 26).

CHALLENGE: Make a list of 12 tasks you would like your children to learn how to do this year. Assign a month to each task and start thinking about how you would like to implement teaching those new tasks to your family.