This week H. and I said good-bye to a cherished little piece of her childhood...the silver shoes. As seen in the picture above, it was way overdue but both of us have avoided the unpleasant task of throwing away something that has had a meaningful place in our hearts. For H., these shoes were a dream come true. They were sparkly, they had silver glitter, and they could pass for both "princess dancing shoes" and "ride down the hill on my firetruck using my toes as brakes" shoes. I have to say not many shoes fit both categories so perfectly. For me, they were true "girly" shoes. After having 2 boys, we hadn't seen many glitter shoes in this house. It represented the feminine side in our family and I loved their impracticality in a world that sometimes seems so sturdy and practical. But throwing away the shoes also presented some other hard cold facts for me.




H. is growing up. Her long, shiny golden curls aren't going to last forever. The hair growing in right now is pretty straight. Those curls that I love at the end of those big, fluffy pigtails are starting to change. I take pictures of her hair like some crazy, lunatic woman because I know it is short lived and her wild, unmanageable hair will someday be cut in to a more "big girl" hairstyle that is going to require some beauty school skill from her mom. I've been blessed with a girl whose hair pretty much does itself. There may be some rocky hair roads ahead for me. But oh... how I love my little girl's curls. They fit her.



This little girl is silly and funny and smart and sassy. Those things won't change. But they mature and her reaction to me will change. Right now I am the "cat's meow". She thinks I walk on water because I am tall enough to undo the latch on top of the refrigerator and I can color inside the lines and read books and drive a car and dance funny. Someday all those things are going to lose their charm and she is going to be a little harder to impress. I love that I can hold her on my lap and snuggle in bed with her and carry her on my hip. I will miss those things. Time moves much faster than I ever could have imagined.


A couple of days ago H. got out the sidewalk chalk and created a masterpiece on the driveway. She drew a self-portrait with lots of hair and arms and legs and eyes. She was so proud of her drawing and I was so amazed to see something emerge that I didn't know she could do. My children amaze me every day with their talents and abilities. I love seeing glimpses of the person she is starting to become. I am excited to be with her on this journey and share her adventures with her. I hope she will never be embarassed by me and my camera and all the jumping up and down and squealing I do when my kids do something really cool.


H. still insists on wearing her headbands across her forehead like an 80's disco queen. We still have a little growing up to do and I'm glad. When she comes out wearing really cool headbands on her forehead, I have to admit I feel a little sense of relief. It means she is still my little funny girl and reminds me that even though she changes before my eyes some days, she is still mine for a long time to come. We still have things to teach each other and learn from each other and there are still precious moments to cuddle and snuggle and be little.


Tonight I am feeling nostalgic about my children...especially H. She is the one that is changing so fast right now. I will always miss my "baby" but I look forward to celebrating all the wonderful things she is becoming. My dad always says that what he misses the most about his children is how they felt snuggled in his arms. I understand now what he means. I don't take enough time to appreciate who they are RIGHT NOW. I'm always looking forward to meal times with no spills and children who can wipe their own bums and people who can buckle themselves into a car seat all on their own. But I felt overwhelming sadness the first time M. did his own seat belt and the night J. kicked me out of the bathroom because he was big enough to give himself his own bath. The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. Tonight I just want to lay in my own grass and appreciate how it smells and looks and feels...everything changes so fast...especially my little people.