Mom Moment

So HB is sitting in the backseat of the car today with a pad of paper and a pen and I start to hear her sounding out letters. "P-I-G...hey mom, look! I wrote PIG!" Well I turned around to see what was happening and sure enough the little smartie pants was back there sounding out words and writing them in the notebook. I have to admit I was a little surprised. I said, "HB, how did you learn how to do so many smart things?" and without missing a beat she said, "Mom...you taught me how, remember?"

Oh sweet girl...keep believing that!

My Fam

Ah, how much do I love these people? Indescribable. They make me happy in every way that a person can be happy. They make me happy because they make me laugh. They make me happy because we work so hard and sacrifice so much for each other. They make me happy because we have so much fun together! They make me happy because they represent hope and joy and eternal life to me. They are my life and I am so grateful for the privilege of being a wife and mother. They are not responsibilities I take lightly and I recognize what an incredible blessing it is. Each of them represents something so special to me.

My sweet husband. I'm not sure he fully realized what he was taking on when he asked me to marry him but he has never complained or shied away for the tough stuff! He is patient and compassionate and funny and such an amazing husband and father. His sisters (there are 6 of them...and he is somewhat of a middle child) were quick to tell me that they had trained him right and often have pointed out what an incredible man he is since we've been married. He has far surpassed every hope and aspiration! He cleans bathrooms, potty trains children, sweeps kitchen floors, does dishes, makes beds, vacuums, steam cleans, cleans up throw up, changes diapers, and takes care of the yard despite having terrible allergies. He grows us vegetables, pumpkins, and fruit trees every year. He knows how to incorporate zucchini into any recipe and is a great cook. He holds father's interviews each fast Sunday, gives father's blessings, and honors his priesthood with conscious reverence and respect. He has blessed our family with the tradition of family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. He loves to play with his wife and kids and takes advantage of every minute to do so. I know without a doubt where he heart lies because of the way he treats us and the things he does. I love him deeply and passionately and am so grateful for what he brings to my life! (So...if you're wondering what on earth I could possibly bring to this marriage that he doesn't already do...not much. I can usually beat him at the game Mancala...and I'm good at teaching the kids to read. There...that's something.)

Oh, my boy. He has brought me so much joy since the moment I laid eyes on him. He is a fantastic "oldest" child. He has a great mind and imagination. JC is so curious and has been since he was old enough to recognize the world around him. He asks great questions and is very thoughtful about the things he learns. He was determined to read and understand things from a very young age and continues to love books and reading and history and science. He loves listening to stories and hearing about adventures. JC is always game for an adventure. He loves to "do" things and can frequently be found engaged in an art project, begging for a science experiment, wanting to play the computer, or making up some elaborate game with his brother and sister. He loves to watch movies and eat popcorn. He is a great soccer player and fantastic swimmer and is always willing to try something new. I love his serious nature, his silly side, and his desire to do what is right! He is a joy!

My sweet, happy, funny, adventurous MC! He is adventure and energy and happiness and imagination all rolled into one sweet boy. His big blue eyes and round delicious cheeks have endeared me to him from the beginning. He has no fear! He loves to try new things and scares me to death with how quickly he figures everything out. We can always tell by his squeals of pure adrenaline and excitement when he has found an "extreme" sport to watch on TV. He loves bike rides, bike jumps, climbing trees, skateboarding, hiking, swimming, camping, and playing, playing, playing. He has a great mind and catches on to things very quickly. He is smart and creative in so many ways. He is very observant and extremely sensitive to people and situations around him. He is always concerned about where people are and what is happening. He has an imagination that is bigger and wider than anyone I've ever met. Most of his sentences start with, "Let's pretend that..." and he can engage any child or group of children in a game. He loves to crawl into my lap and snuggle and I cherish every moment that he will let me do that. He is pure happiness!

And last but not least, my HB. Just when I thought I'd been completely consummed with light sabers and Indiana Jones whips and trucks and pirates, here comes a bundle of girly girl that is all pink and bows and girl. She can talk your ear off and loves to be heard! She is so happy and laid back and easy going...but can turn around and be so stubborn and independent. She has such a strong will, independent mind, and determination...all characteristics I admire and respect so deeply. She is confident and happy and excited about everything. She also has a tremendous imagination and is content to sing and talk to herself all day! She is so smart and quick to learn things. She loves her friends and wakes up every single morning asking 2 questions..."What are we going to do today?" and "Who are we going to play with?" I love that she wants to snuggle and cuddle and I love having a best friend that wants to play tea parties and Polly Pockets and the Cinderella jewelry game. But do not be fooled...she is also a genius with a light saber and Indiana Jones whip!

See why they are so amazing?

I have always felt a deep gratitude for my family and tremendous respect for who each of them are individually and what they bring to my life. I recognize how deeply we need each other. Every member brings something to the table that the rest of us needs. I just feel so blessed by them and our life together. It is no small thing to be happy...deeply, eternally, joyfully happy. And I celebrate that. Every day.

Farewell Sweet Summer of '08

Another summer has passed. Tomorrow the kids start school which is always a strange time for me. It is the end of the lazy, sweet days of summer and the start of a whole new chapter and phase in our lives. JC will start 2nd grade and MC will be starting kindergarten. I distinctly remember the very first day that I was left home all alone with JC, my brand new baby boy. Mo had left to go home, C. returned to work and there we sat...my first born child and I. JC looked up at me from his car seat and I immediately burst into tears. I called C. sobbing. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Is JC OK? Are you OK?" I continued sobbing and answered, "What am I supposed to do with him for the next 5 years? Kindergarten is a million years away." I can't even remember if my husband had a response for that. But here we are...not only is JC 7 years old, but my sweet MC is starting school...and if HL had her way, she'd be off to school tomorrow as well.

So here is my farewell to summer blog. Since this is the only journal that exists in my life, you may have to wade through quite a bit of material. Feel free to skim. It has been a fantastic summer filled with amazing memories!

FIELD TRIPS
We designated Wednesdays as our "field trip" days. This is when we would plan our big excursions out into the wild Utah frontier...and we had some great adventures! Having Chip here for the beginning of the summer was fantastic...we just tagged along with him and his kids for the first couple of weeks. Here are some of our more memorable excursions: (I'm not always great at remembering to take my camera, replacing the dead batteries, or pulling it out of the case when something cool happens...excuse the lack of photo documentation!)

1) Earth Science and Monte Beane Museum: Chip and I outdid ourselves and managed to entertain 6 children ages 8 and under for over an hour in an Earth Science museum that really you could see all the exhibits just by standing at the right angle by the front door. We had them do a scavenger, review the Jurassic Periods, and even do a human recreation of how fossils are formed. A personal favorite!

2) Family Days at the BYU Art Museum: Embracing our Renaissance selves...we did face painting, danced with some strange people, and painted Renaissance art. When all was said and done my children said their favorite part were the free helium balloons at the end.

3) Crafty Kids Camp: Thank you to the fabulous 14 year olds in our neighborhood that put on a 5 week camp with crafts, stories, entertainment and fun! This was our 3rd year in the row attending and I don't want them to know this, but I'd pay just about any price for the free hour and a half I got once a week! Kids had fun, mom had fun, and everyone was happy!

4) Children's Museum, Clark Planetarium and TRAX ride: We love the Children's Museum and always manage to find hours of stuff to do there. We took the train up which is always half the fun. After the Children's Museum, we had dinner at Panda Express and then took in the free exhibits at Clark Planetarium. A train ride home and a stop at Old Navy to buy new $3.00 flip flops for all the children whose shoes had gone the way of all cheap shoes. A fabulous day!

5) Red Butte Gardens: A favorite get-away in Salt Lake City...we had an amazing day with Tonya and her kids! Got really wet, looked for rattlesnakes, ate lunch under a waterfall, played tea party in a Japanese tea house, climbed the lizard sculptures, fed the koi fish a bunch of left-over snacks, and had a great time!

6) Bingham Copper Mines: My first time to the copper mines. It was fascinating! I've never seen such an enormous hole, such gigantic tires and dump trucks, and been riveted just watching trucks drive up and down big roads. I loved the huge rain storm that started when we got there and the humid lunch we ate in the van with all the windows rolled up. Thanks to Maryann and her kids for a fun, unique experience. We loved it!

7) Cascade Springs: Another fabulous adventure with Maryann and her kids. We love this magical place hidden up American Fork Canyon. It makes me a little car sick driving up and down the windy mountain roads but I never cease to be amazed at the sheer beauty of the mountains and this amazing state we live in. I love the pine trees that cover the mountain, the moose and deer, the beautiful, clear water, and the hiking trails that take you to breathtaking places. Cascade Springs is amazing with its water and boardwalks and wildlife. Our favorite moment happened when we visited last year. While walking a portion of the boardwalk, we saw a female moose come down to the water to drink. We sat silently on the walkway just marveling at her size and majestic beauty...after watching her for a few minutes, she started to "urinate" in the water and I hate to say it, but it was quite a spectacle. An animal that size makes quite a stir when they pee. The kids and I were riveted. What was even more entertaining was walking a few feet downstream after watching the moose pee and seeing 2 tourists on their knees scooping up and drinking handfuls of "the amazing crystal clear mountain stream". I didn't have the heart to tell them about the amounts of moose pee floating down their way...the kids and I laughed until we were sick. I will never look at a mountain stream the same way!





8) Thanksgiving Point: What is summer without at least one excursion to the place where they amaze you and rip you off all at the same time. They can provide big entertainment...but you pay for it. We did the dinosaur museum on one of the $2.00 Tuesdays and I have NEVER seen a crowd like that. It was dinosaur mayhem. Another week my friend Cynthia and I took our kids to the huge outdoor gardens and while it was still more crowded than usual, it was beautiful. The kids spent the first 30 minutes just playing on the huge green hill right inside the gardens. Cynthia and I just sat and marvelled at how little it really took to entertain 6 kids. I love the Waterfall Garden, the Secret Garden, the Italian Garden, and the Rose Garden. They are beautiful places. I also love JCW's restaurant where we went afterwards to indulge our need for delicious hamburgers and thick shakes.

9) Springville Museum Quilt Show: The kids were very indulgent in allowing me an afternoon wandering the quilt show. The quilts were amazing. I have utter respect and admiration for this art form. We just stood and stared at the elaborate piecing and sewing. The kids each got to take a picture of their favorite quilt. Afterwards we went upstairs to the gallery and played "I Spy". We take turns standing in the middle of the room while one person says, "I spy a painting with vertical lines"...or "I spy a painting with a horse"...or something like that. Then you have to run and stand in front of the painting that fits the description. They will play this game for HOURS and we are learning and noticing lots of neat stuff along the way. We finally left when I caught the boys staring at the naked lady statues. That room was WAY too interesting!

10) Heritage Park Pioneer Museum: The kids had 2 great adventures at this amazing place. The first time they went with the Ruchti family and came home with 3 chickens that actually turned out to be 2 chickens and a turkey. Because the Ruchti family are more in touch with their "farming" natures, they graciously agreed to house, fed and care for the pets. We agreed to take care of the animals while they travelled this summer. They now have a dog, a rabbit, 5 chickens and a turkey although lots of the animals are finding their way to a farm in Idaho. The second adventure to Pioneer Park was with CeliAnne and her kids. We love the pioneer village. They kids rode ponies, pet livestock, went to pioneer school, watched the blacksmith pound the heck out of some metal, got a shave at the barber shop, bought candy at the Mercantile, looked at money in the bank, went to the pharmacy and millenery, had lunch at the Huntsman Hotel, rode the train, visited the Anderson's Swedish home, did chores at the log cabin, raced metal hoops down the dirt road, played in the play houses...it was a fantastic day. This is an AMAZING place that is open year round and provides incredible experiences for kids of all ages. I love this place...the kids and I talked about volunteering there next summer...although I don't know if I could handle wearing all that pioneer gear in the heat with no air conditioning. I may love the pioneer experience but I sure worship my air conditioning when it's all over!

11) Hogle Zoo: And of course you have to visit the zoo at least once...you only have to do that once in the summer time though because the smell and the fact that all the animals look dead keep you safely away until the fall.

BIG EVENTS

We have had some BIG events this summer. The first was the Carr Family Reunion in June. Lots of cousins, lots of swimming, lots of fun! It was great to hang out and catch up and play together. We loved having Jim, Chellae, and Andrew stay with us! We celebrated the 4th of July together and loved watching the parade...especially with Uncle Josh and his WWII tank making their debut appearance. It was a great event!

TREK: But you have already heard plenty about that. Still, one of summer's truly incredible experiences. Loved sharing it with my family!

In July, we mourned the passing of our beloved beta fish, Bubble. He was found "floating" in his tank one evening and while every one else stared in morbid fascination, I sobbed on C.'s shoulder. I've never been good with death...and somehow I felt responsible. His tank was never as clean as it should have been, he was never fed with any regularity...I have a feeling JC and I are going to have to face Bubble someday and try and justify our neglect.

We started with a "closed tank" viewing. Only the truly brave at heart dared peek under the dish towel.

We then moved to the cemetary where I offered a short eulogy and then C. poured Bubble into his final resting spot beneath the evergreen in the garden. He was covered and then a little tombstone erected. We take pet deaths very seriously here.

The summer was also filled with swim lessons, a few excursions to the Rec Center Pool (I really, really struggle with the big public pool thing so my kids are pretty deprived...I hate the stray hairs, the random floating band-aids, all the kids with their slightly poopy bottoms, and watching mothers wipe their kid's noses and then rinse their hands in the pool) and we also enjoyed lots of bike rides. I have discovered bike riding with the kids and I love it. We ride around the neighborhood or head down to the stake center parking lot where we have Nascar races and play Mario Cart.

Our summer has also been filled with friends of every shape and size. MC and HL are deeply social creatures and wake up every day asking either "What are we going to do today?" or "Who are we going to play with?" We have had lots and lots of play dates and are so grateful to live in a neighborhood with so many amazing kids and families.

C. and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary with an overnight get away at the Sheraton Hotel in SLC. It was a GREAT evening away...we had yummy dinner, wandered the Gateway, ate Ben and Jerry's ice-cream and slept in really late the next morning. We topped the experience off with the Joseph Smith movie and lunch at the Lion House the next day. I am so incredibly grateful for this amazing man I am married to! It has been an unbelievable 9 years...and I can't wait for 90 more years!

I finished the summer off with a "mom" weekend to Las Vegas to visit my darling sister and her cute-to-the-bone family...but I will blog about that next. We also just got back from a 2-day camping trip that was wonderful and dirty and amazing. I will also blog about that...

I think it is time to draw things to an end. It is getting late and we have lunches to fix and new crisp school clothes to lay out. I am so grateful for my family. They are sweet and fun and adventurous and smart and hilarious and so fun to be with. I love our adventures and our time together. I am grateful for a summer where we were able to relax and play and see so many amazing things. I am grateful that my husband loves being at home with his family above anything else in this world and he is eager for any and every adventure he can have with us. My children will have an amazing year at school...I am eager for this new challenge and chapter but I will love and cherish every minute of this summer that we have had together!

JC with his "corn on the cob" cupcake relicas. The kids were invited to an overnight at Aunt Carrie and Uncle Todd's house and took their dessert assignment very seriously. The kids designed, made, and assembled the most complex cake I have ever seen. It was hilarious!

An island cake with plastic trees, green frosting, and frosted animal cookies complete with ocean cupcakes with swedish fish and a yellow cupcake sun. They designed and assembled the whole thing. I was just there to document it.

MC still asks every day for a surfboard or snowboard. I still can't figure out what he wants the surfboard for but he practices every day on the arm of the sofa. Lucky me...

Every time the kids watch a movie, they have to act it out. This is what I found in my backyard the morning after they watched Spiderwick Chronicles. They are riding a griffith with their spy glasses. Never, ever a dull moment!

And when all else fails, they just dog pile each other and seem to all forgive each other when someone gets hurt and it ends with a hearty round of time-out and sorrys before the next round.

See why I'm a little bit sorry to see them go to school? It will be a dull 9 months...

The Last Trek Entry

Well dear readers...this is the end of the marathon. The final mile. I promise next post will be about something different...maybe the creepy carnival or the potato bugs living in our basement or the wasps that have staked claim on our swing set or how I didn't lose enough weight to win $620.00 this summer. Sigh. I'm back to plotting on how to win Deal or No Deal.

So the final day of trek. Despite what it may seem, trek was only 3 days. So even though these blog entries make it sound like we were out there for a season, it really was pretty quick. We woke up, did some mental prep before using the poop laden port a potty, and ate a quick breakfast. Then we broke camp and packed everything up. It was a sad moment. I didn't want to go home and have to face laundry and house cleaning and the telephone and deadlines and projects. I just wanted to stay on the prairie.

Once we were packed up, we headed over for our last devotional. Today's theme was "consecration". I was chasing restless children through most of the meeting but at one point I looked over and saw J. standing up front with a group of people who were doing different speaking parts. J. calmly walked up to the microphone when it was his turn and delivered his little part that I didn't know he had. I asked him afterwards what had happened and he said one of the boys that was supposed to do a part got sick so they asked if he would like to fill in. He took the piece of paper they handed him, memorized his part while standing up front and delivered the whole thing from memory. He said it like it was no big deal and I just stood there and wondered for the millionth time in my life where this amazing child came from! At moments like that I like to say he gets it from his mother but I'm not fooling anyone!

Toward the end of the devotional, they had a gentleman from our ward stand and sing the song written by President Hinckley "Oh Death, Where Is Thy Sting?". As he sung the song, several different members of our ward (couples, fathers, mothers, children) stood and walked away from the group. We watched them slowly walk over the hill and disappear from sight. After the musical number, we were told that these individuals represented the members of our handcart company that did not survive the trip. They had us leave to start the trek out and as we rounded the first bend on the trail, these individuals were lined up on either side of the trail standing silently and watching us pass. They had one of the young women playing a hymn on the flute...it was truly a humbling, sweet moment. These people were my friends and neighbors. How tragic the circumstances were to have had to say good bye to so many on those trails to Zion. I think all of us were also thinking of the friends we have had to say good bye to in the last few months. The heartache, the fear, the hopelessness...and yet we have watched the women and children in both of these families pick up and keep moving. I felt such gratitude for the examples of Ryan and Katie and Erik and Emily. They exemplify and emulate all that is good and hopeful in their continued journeys.

As we continued along the trail, we came to a point where we met up with a group of youth and their leaders who were also trekking. They lined up along the trail as we passed and gave us a rousing "Hurrah for Israel". It was inspiring and motivating!

There had been rumor that the trek out would be shorter than the trek in but as time passed, we quickly realized this was not to be the case. We were headed back by another route and it was definitely longer than the one in. Everyone was tired after 3 days out on the prairie. I noticed my kids had slowed down...the handcarts seemed to moving pretty fast but my poor M. just couldn't keep up. He didn't ask to ride but several times we fell pretty far behind our handcart so that he could keep up. I actually didn't mind at all. I loved walking with M. and having that time alone with him. After started our walking again following one of our breaks, M. and I fell into step with some friends and their kids who were also needing to take it slow. I think it was my favorite part of trekking that day. I got to walk with one of my favorite adult people and some of my very favorite little people. We sang, we played super heroes, we jumped the "cow poop", we watched the cows play...it was wonderful! I can't tell you how inspired and motivated I am by the beautiful children around me. I consider it a great privilege to associate with and be a part of their lives. And I admire and adore the grown-up people around me. We have been truly blessed in our associations in this ward and neighborhood. I am constantly in awe of their lives and families and influence on others. Trekking across the poopy cow pasture was no exception!

As we were nearing what we finally thought was the end, Sister Rich stopped each handcart company and gave each family an envelope with the "conclusion" to the story of the pioneers we were trekking for. We had had the privilege of reading about our pioneer family before we went on trek so we already knew their story but it was a wonderful conclusion to the experience. I took H. out of the handcart because I wanted her to "walk" the rest of the way to Zion. We really did think the parking lot was right around the corner...or the next corner...or the next corner. Twenty minutes later I picked her up and started to carry her. She promptly fell asleep on my shoulder. Poor M. was dragging. He had walked the whole way and had just about had it. Again, to my rescue came more favorite people. They rearranged their children so that Bro. Larson was carrying H. and I could put M. on my back. And thus we arrived in Zion.

I won't kid you though...I didn't really feel like we arrived in Zion until we walked out of Wendy's with our big king size Frosties purchased as soon as possible on the way home. THAT is Zion.

And thus ended one of the great experiences of my life. It has been a highlight this summer, an experience that has touched me for good. I am so grateful to have had that adventure with my family...it is one we will draw on collectively for many years to come and has provided many discussions and opportunities for teaching with our kids. I love that we got to share it together.

"We cannot begin to understand the journeys made by those who laid the foundation of this dispensation until we understand their spiritual underpinnings. Once we make that connection, however, we will begin to see how their journeys parallel ours now. There are lessons for us in every footstep they took--lessons of love, courage, commitment, devotion, endurance, and, most of all, faith. Those 19th century pioneers to whom we pay special tribute never set out to be heroes, and yet they accomplished heroic things. That is what makes them Saints. They were a band of believers who tried to do the right things for the right reasons, ordinary men and women who were called on to perform an extraordinary work. At times, they gave in to their discouragement and allowed themselves to murmur and complain. But ultimately their faith in God and the man they sustained as their prophet and leader prevailed, and they righted their vision and attitudes along with their wagons. In the process they found joy amid the hardships and trials of the trek.

No matter how difficult the trail, and regardless of how heavy our load, we can take comfort in knowing that others before us have borne life's most grievous trials and trgedies by looking to heaven for peace, comfort, and hopeful reassurance. We can know, as they knew, that God is our Father, that He cares about us individually and collectively, and that as long as we continue to exercise faith and trust in Him there is nothing to fear in the journey." (Russell M. Ballard)

Hurrah for Israel!

More Trek

I need to finish telling this story. It was such a great experience and I want to make sure I get it written but time is flying this summer and I have to be sure to tell the story of my 3 innocent kids at the carnival before too long.

Today C. and I went to see the Joseph Smith movie showing at the JS Building. We hadn't seen it before and I have to honestly tell you, it was one of the most powerful movies I have ever seen. Both of us sat and wept through most of it. I laughed when we walked in and there were boxes of Kleenex sitting on the counter but by the end I was emptying the box and sniffling the whole way out. It was amazing! I've been thinking about the movie all day and the line at the very end that says, "Shall we not go forth in so great a cause?" Yes. We shall.

Day Two of trek was wonderful. I have to admit there were 2 parts of trek I did not care for. The first were the Port-a-potties. There were 12 green portable potties sitting on a flat bed truck that were our means of relieving ourselves. Quite frankly, I would have much preferred a hole in the sage brush. The first day it just wasn't that bad but you would not believe the amount of poop in those things by the 3rd day. I'm dry heaving just thinking about it. And the little car air freshener things hanging on the door handles mixed with the stench of raw sewage was enough to send me sobbing into the wild prairie. It was harsh.

The other thing that was a little challenging was sleeping. It was FREEZING at night and I don't think we had adequate stuff. I was so cold both nights and I didn't bring my pillow arrangement so it was a little miserable. (I am a TOTAL pillow snob and will seriously pack my pillows before underwear or a toothbrush. Just pray you are never in a long-term situation with me where I have to choose!) So nights were a little long...but still. Back to the good stuff.

On day 2 we awoke, had a little crunchy oatmeal for breakfast and headed to devotional. Our theme that day was "Follow the Prophet"...which was so appropriate because it was the the actual day of Joseph Smith's martyrdom at Carthage. We finished the devotional and packed up our handcarts to trek to a little lake for baptisms. There were 4 children in our ward that actually got baptized...how utterly fantastically cool is that?! We trekked about 2 miles and arrived at this beautiful place to enjoy the baptisms. The meeting was great. I started to think about how much experiences such as this must have meant to the pioneers. To be able to participate in the ordinances of the church must have brought such joy and peace on a journey filled with so much sacrifice. These ordinances were the very thing they were giving their lives for! I can't think of any other events in life that are more simple and beautiful, more filled with the Spirit and power of God than the ordinances of the gospel. Whether it is a baptism, serving in the temple, partaking of the sacrament...they are events filled with light and joy. Simple and breathtaking.







After the baptisms we headed back to camp. It had been a hard pull out and back from the baptisms and a long time since we had eaten breakfast. Right before we pulled back into camp, we stopped and heard a story from one of our ward "pioneer" boys. He talked about some of the tough things he faced as a pioneer boy...especially the hunger. After he finished his story, Sister Rich told us that our company leaders had prepared lunch for us and we should head back in to camp to eat. We grabbed our cups and spoons and headed over to the mess area where we found our leaders waiting with a bag of flour and a measuring cup. Adults received 1/2 c. and children received 1/4 c. They described the severity of the situation when handcart companies ran out of food on the trip and how they would have to start rationing. It was very humbling to look at that little amount of flour and realize that for many, this was their one and only meal of the day. We were told that we would not receive any lunch until our cup of flour was consummed. We could do it however we wanted but we had to do it. I mixed mine with a little bit of water and made a paste...then I tried to tell myself it was delicious cookie dough and swallowed most of it. The kids were really good sports. J. thought it was pretty nasty but most of the other kids had to have their cups removed because after playing with it like play dough, I think they started throwing it around. Leave it to my kids to find the silver lining! Judging from J's pants, I think he wore more of it than he actually ate!






After lunch we packed up our handcarts and trekked just a little ways out in to this big field at the base of a pretty big hill. We met together for another short devotional. This one was dedicated to all the children who were orphaned along the trail and required to walk alone to Zion. I have to admit this was not a part of the handcart experience I had stopped and thought about before. We talk so much about the children who lost their lives but not about the ones who lost their parents and had to take responsibility for younger siblings and continue walking. It was truly humbling to consider these children who had the fortitude and strength to pick up where their parent's journey had ended and continue the journey. I kept thinking about the testimonies of these youth and the strong possibility that despite what they were asked to sacrifice and give to the Lord, I bet that many of them not only made it to Zion but were stalwart and strong members for the rest of their lives. They were asked to sacrifice for the Lord and whether or not they consciously understood the depth of the sacrifice at the time, it must have left a deep and lasting impressions on their souls...and I'm certain the Lord wept with them as they buried parents, picked up younger siblings, and kept moving forward. I'm certain their reward on earth as well as heaven has been significant.

After our devotional, they split everyone up into 3 groups. The primary children stayed in one group with the primary leaders, the youth went to another part of the field to meet with their leaders, and the adults were asked to hike a narrow trail to the top of the hill. Now this was not a hike for sissies! This was a very steep trail and it took us a nice chunk of time for all of us to make it to the top...especially those that had small children or infants. Once we made it to the top, the bishop held a special meeting with all the adults. He asked us the question, "If you were to die right now, what legacy would you leave to your children?" We had an open discussion about what things were most important to us and what things we genuinely hoped we were teaching our children. It was sobering to recognize the 2 young fathers we have lost very suddenly in the last few months and to realize it could be any of us. Have we truly lived our lives in a way that our children would know without a doubt what we believed in and what we stood for? How would they remember us? As we concluded the discussion, the bishop announced that the next portion of our experience was something they were calling the "children's pull". He explained that our youth were preparing to pull each and every handcart up the hill to the top where we were standing. He asked us to respectfully and reverently line the top half of the trail to witness this event. He pleaded with us to not intervene but to allow our children this opportunity to demonstrate their strength and courage. I think most of the adults were silently weeping. I can't tell you the experience I had as I turned and looked down that steep slope. I saw the children and youth pulling the handcarts into a line, flags flying, and little bodies standing ready at the carts. We heard the cry to start pulling and up they started coming. I just stood and wept. I watched these youth and primary children pulling these huge, heavy handcarts up this hill and I marvelled. The young men and women were shouting encouragement to the primary children and every child and youth was either pushing or pulling. The little ones were walking in the dust behind the carts but they were doing it...on their own. No one was being carried but every one was being encouraged. As they reached the top of the hill, the young men and women would tear down the hill to the next handcart and help pull. They continued to do this until every handcart was at the top of the hill.

Our 3 children were towards the end. J. and M. were both on the front of a handcart pulling. Both had huge smiles on their faces and were so proud as they passed C. and I. I couldn't say anything. For just a moment, I felt as if I was looking at my children as they really are. Not their physical exteriors, but their spirits. I saw their strength and optimism, I saw their determination and enthusiasm for the task and I saw 2 children who were not daunted. They were told to pull the handcart to the top of the hill and they were doing it. I know they were confident because they weren't doing it alone...they had other youth to help them. I crouched down as they passed and truly felt humbled. H. was walking the trail behind the cart. Right as she approached where we were standing, she tripped and fell flat on her face in the dust. I sobbed as I watched my friend reach out to pick her up and truly felt astonished when H. pushed her hand away and with tears streaming down her face, whether in frustration or discouragement, shouted, "I can do it! I can do it!" and stood up and continued walking. I will never hear those words from her again without thinking of that moment. "Yes!" I kept thinking, "You can do it Hannah." I will never be frustrated by that statement again. She can do it. Every one of my children can do it. And they will need all that strength and determination and stubborness to succeed. But they will do it. And I applaud the magnificence of their spirits and the gifts the Lord has given them. They will face many uphill climbs in their lives, especially in these Latter Days. And they will be asked to do difficult things and face enormous challenges and wage spiritual battles that are big. But they will do it. They will have each other, they will have the strength of other Saints, and they will have the strength of the Lord. I went on trek for that moment with my children. It has changed how I see them, it has changed how I treat them, and it has changed the seriousness with which I conduct my life and my dealings with them. It was a precious moment.






At the top of the hill, I grabbed H. and she clung to my neck and we both cried in the sagebrush for a few minutes. The boys had huge grins on their faces and couldn't wait to share their version of the experience. It was a priceless time on top of that enormous hill overlooking the beautiful prairie. I'm so grateful for the immense gift of that experience.

After heading back to camp, we took a few hours to relax. The kids played, the adults mingled and there was some serious square dancing! I have to say no one can square dance like Mindee Hansen! And somehow square dancing became lots more interesting since those painful high school days!

That evening, we enjoyed another delicious dinner and then had an amazing fireside about the prophet Joseph Smith that culminated in our ward singing a beautiful song all together. For weeks before trek, our ward music expert had been going around to all the different auxillaries teaching us different parts to this song. We hadn't heard any of the other parts so hearing it put together at the devotional was really touching. One of the sweetest parts was watching Andrew Rich, one of the youth in our ward who was singing the solo parts in the song. He has a beautiful voice and as he listened to this song being sung by the ward, he broke down in tears. It wasn't just the tears, but the emotion on his face. You could feel the Spirit so strongly and I doubt he will ever forget that experience bearing his testimony about the prophet Joseph through the words of that song. It was a sweet meeting.

Day 2 was filled with memorable and incredible experiences. One thing that impressed me was watching all the children and youth. We had no TV's, no iPods, cell phones, video games, or other "modern" day entertainment and it was amazing to watch them. They played games, hiked hills, built things, and had an amazing time. I loved being with all these people without any of the distractions of our "modern" lives. I felt closer to my family, closer to my friends, and closer to the Lord. One of the great benefits of working and playing together! I loved this experience...every minute of it!