My BFF

I lost a very dear friend last week. Although I had never personally met her, she was there at just about every significant milestone of my life from 14-23 years old…that’s a lot of living. And a lot of drama…and trauma…and teenage angst. If I could make my life during that time into a very long mini-series, her music would be the soundtrack. How poetic…she was the soundtrack of my teenage years. And oddly enough, she was the soundtrack of my LDS mission. Allow me to elaborate…

I met Whitney Houston in middle school and we quickly became BFFs. I listened to her “cassette” constantly. She got me dressed and off to school in the mornings, provided fabulous company in the car (we were so awesome singing our lungs out together…she made me sound GOOD!), was the backdrop to many conversations with my other BFF Chandra, made my middle school home economics teacher cry every time she talked about or heard “The Greatest Love”(which oddly enough I remember her playing more than once in home ec…I’m sure she had her reasons). I lip synched to her soulful music for HOURS down in my bedroom. When it came time to try out for the freshman pom squad at school, she was the music I auditioned to. And I made it! The following year our audition music for poms was from the Grease 2 soundtrack and ironically I didn’t make the team that year. I was nothing without the power of Whitney.

Then came high school…and her next album. Oh the loves found and lost to that music. “Didn’t We Almost Have It All”, “Where Do Broken Hearts Go”…I can’t tell you how many tears were shed, how many boys were analyzed, how many teenage relationships dissected with that album as the background. And once again she worked her magic when I auditioned for the high school “Highlanders” squad to one of her songs…and made it! Whitney and I were unstoppable. We danced, we sang more duets in the car, we lip synched, and we were happy. Whitney had a song for everything! She knew how to say it best.

When I was in my early 20’s, I attended one of her concerts in Boston. It was amazing! I was just as enamored with her then as I had been in high school. Her voice was truly unlike anything I had ever heard…it was beautiful. And she still could capture my moods better than anyone. We were quite a team.

From 1 992-1994, I was serving a full time mission for the LDS church in Denmark and the movie “The Bodyguard” had just been released. Danes were just as crazy about Whitney as I was and I heard the soundtrack to that movie EVERYWHERE we went…member’s homes, shopping centers, cars, grocery stores…without consciously making an effort, I came home knowing most of the words to every song on the soundtrack! So she even provided a little background music for my mission. Can’t say many music artists have done that!

And so I was truly heartbroken to hear of her tragic passing! I have loved her music but truly was so disappointed in the direction her life took the last years of her life. I had admired and respected her so much as a teenager that it was disheartening to see her become a victim of alcohol and drugs. My heart aches for her family and what they must be experiencing right now. But Whitney will continue to sing… This afternoon I broke out my “Whitney’s Greatest Hits” CD and sang all her love songs to my baby while we were cleaning up and hanging out. I took her “fast” tracks CD in the car to pick up the kids from school and played it so loud that Hannah finally asked if I could turn it down. And when my children need that background music to celebrate their first kiss or first heartbreak or need a peppy song to audition for the dance squad to, Whitney will be there. That’s the magic of what she has left behind.

B/F/F Whitney!

I'm In Love...

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Letter

Dear Sleep,

I am writing to apologize. I think I have offended you and I am begging for you to return. I know that I have abused you in the past, taken you for granted, been callous to your 8 hour needs...but I am now begging for forgiveness. If you will come back, I will treasure and cherish you. I promise to give you ALL the time you  need and demand. I will never put you off again...not even for a riveting book, movie, or bowl of ice-cream. I will be faithful and devoted.

I promise. I have learned my lesson. Please come back. Baby and I need you.

xo,
amy

Falling in Love

Our family has fallen in love! Can you blame us?

We spend a good portion of our days in this delicious blue armchair. Jacob likes to read him books in the chair...he is working on teaching him his ABC's. You can see how absolutely engrossed Little Man is.

This is what Chris and I spend lots of time doing with the baby in the big, comfy blue armchair. He is very nocturnal...sound asleep during the day and ready to party at night.

We have blankets, pillows, music, diapers, a Kindle Fire, a laptop, assorted books and other entertainment at an arms reach.

This is when our baby became a glow worm for 24 hours. He was still darling but really, really mad. Apparently being laid on a bed of lights is not near as fun as snuggling in the big, blue, comfy armchair.

Matthew also loves holding baby in the chair...loves it! He is our baby magnet...very protective, very sweet, and always willing to hold him, feed him, or cuddle with him. It is very sweet!

This baby HATES having his diaper changed and taking baths. He never cries unless you are inflicting one of those 2 activities on him. And then he goes from 0 to 100 in .2 seconds. (Doesn't that look like a scary math problem?)

This baby eats and poops like a champ! I wouldn't normally be so "graphic" but not all of our children have excelled at those 2 things as newborns. He is exceptionally gifted and talented.

This baby has the most delicious cheeks...and they are irresistable. They get kissed and admired many times every day...especially by his adoring big sister.

He is starting to have lots of "awake" time...we find ourselves hypnotized by those big, chocolate eyes.

He is so delightfully charming...and he doesn't even talk yet! We love those big eyes, beautiful lips, and chubby cheeks with a touch of double chin...perfection.

He will sit and stare into your eyes until you find yourself completely hypnotized and unable to do anything else...like dishes or the laundry!

Yes, we are in love. The best Valentine EVER!

Feel free to come over and sit in the comfy blue armchair and hold this bundle of yummy...especially if you happen to be up at 2:00 a.m.

We are loving our new baby!

Baby's First Week in Pictures

Tomorrow it will be exactly one week since we brought Baby home...and it has been an amazing week. We are so incredibly grateful for the outpouring of love and support from kind friends and family. Thank you for coming and meeting Baby. Thank you for the treats and meals and thoughtful, sweet gifts. Thank you for sharing this amazing event with us. We feel so blessed!

A Miracle

Today.

Isn't it amazing how one ordinary day can change your world? Can change the pattern of eternity? Today was that day for me.

 Today Chris and I were at the hospital with a basket filled with goodies for a courageous, determined, selfless birth mother.

 Today I walked in AND out of labor and delivery! When I walked in, I was the mother of 3 beautiful children. When I walked out 3 hours later, I was the mother of 4 beautiful children.

 Today my husband became a father again. He is so good at it. This has been a journey that has led us down paths we never could have anticipated travelling. My husband has shown incredible courage and faith, as he always does, in hearing the Lord's voice and doing His will. Sometimes the journey can be so different than you planned...but he has never shunned the difficult. And today he embraced his son with incredible love and tenderness.

 Today we met our new son for the very first time. And he took our breath away.

 He has a strong spirit...great strength. I could feel it holding him. And I feel honored to be his mother.

 Today I joined hands with another mother as she entrusted us with this most precious and dear of all gifts. We are partners. She has done her part and now it is time for me to do mine. Both of us play critical roles in bringing this new baby to the world and making sure he does all he has been sent to do. He has a great work and purpose...I am beyond grateful to be a part of his journey. 

 Today I marvelled that we have the opportunity to participate in this incredible blessing of adoption. I don't know why we have been blessed with the enormous gift of biological children and adopted children but I feel so blessed.

 Adoption allows you to see miracles in how the Lord brings families together. I testify that it is not an accident, that there is purpose and incredible meaning each person's place in this world. Families are a miracle...I knew that before. That testimony was reaffirmed today.

 Today my children welcomed a new sibling...and they did it with tremendous love.

 Today big brothers became that much bigger and a little sister became a big sister.

 Today Grandpa and Grandma Carr welcomed grandchild #26. We aren't helping the imbalance of girls to boys...last count on the Carr side was 8 girls and 18 boys!

Today I sat in the blue armchair in our living room for hours holding this new baby. I stroked his fingers and his soft hair and just felt overwhelmed. It is overwhelming. My emotions are a roller coaster, changing from one moment to the next. But the overwhelming emotion is of wonder and gratitude.

This has truly been a miraculous journey. I want to share that journey...but not tonight. Tonight I want to snuggle with my new baby and 3 "big" kids and marvel at what a miracle today was.