Tuesday, October 17, 2006

It's a Really Strange World After All

Well, we did it.

I wasn't sure it could be done.

I had serious reservations, horrific nightmares, and a few panic attacks but we did it. Despite a few battle scars and some emotional healing that still needs to occur, I would dare say we have emerged triumphant. We drove 10 hours in a mini-van and took 3 small children (ages 5 and under) to Disneyland. We only lost one child (temporarily), picked up a raging case of herpes simplex fever blisters, misplaced a darling red leather Mary Jane shoe, and had one minor "wetting" incident on Splash Mountain but here we are! Home, sunburned, and blissfully filled with precious family memories. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

I will not attempt to unfold the whole saga in one blog...rather, I will break this in to a few "mini" stories to be savored one at a time. I will start with our wild adventure in Las Vegas.

We had been driving for 6 straight hours when we realized we were long overdue for a gasoline/potty/diaper changing break. Since we were on the outskirts of Vegas, we decided to push forward a little ways and find a place to stop in the city. We started telling the kids how great it was going to be when Abby and James and Caleb moved to Las Vegas and how we could drive down and visit them and stay at their house and play. I really had a motivational pep rally going when the van came to a stop and the door slid open. The boys all jumped out and I went around to get H. when my husband asked, "Did you remember to pack your bra?" I turned around and found my husband staring down at a lacy black bra that had been abandoned in the parking place next to us. It had seen a little action in that parking lot...been driven over a few times and had some choice things dropped on it but there it was in all its black splendor. My 5 year old and 4 year old boys came rushing around the car to see what all the commotion was about. The following conversation ensued:

5 yr old: Mom, what is that?
Mom: A bra.
5yr old: What is a bra?
Mom: It is girl underwear that we wear on our breasts.
5 yr. old: How did a girl lose her bra at the gas station?
Mom: I don't know J. That is a good question.
5 yr. old: Maybe the door accidentally opened and the bra just flew away.
Mom: Maybe.
4 yr. old: Gross.

We proceeded inside. I watched more trauma unfold in the next 15 minutes than I have witnessed in the last 5 years of my life. I watched the homeless, toothless old man try to sell the gas station attendant a set of colored pencils in a wood box for $20.00, watched the glazed over, somewhat drunk men sit at the slot machines pushing the buttons aimlessly while their credit cards maxed out, and the woman that left her 4 year old daughter screaming outside the door in the care of a small Mexican man while she went in to gamble. Our poor sheltered children just stood on the sticky gas station floor and took it all in. When we got back in the car there wasn't much comment. Maybe they were trying to find a place in their brains to assimilate all the fun they had just witnessed in Las Vegas. Maybe they were wondering why Abby and James and Caleb were going to live in a sticky gas station. Maybe they were still wondering how people in Vegas accidentally lose their underwear in parking lots.

I felt like we had all lost a little of our naive innocence. But hey...isn't that what family vacations are all about?

(Stay tuned for the saga of the Lost Child and "How I Got Herpes on My Family Vacation".)

4 comments:

mo said...

These vacation stories better get more pleasant or I may swear off blogging. Between your account and Abby's Walmart/Dollar Store experiences I am starting to loose my faith in humanity. Wait, I already know that it gets worse before it gets better. Heaven help us all! Your account is still pretty funny even if it is depressing.

Lisa M. said...

Welcome home!

I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.


Good Heavens.. in the future, we need warning.

*smile*

I love Las Vegas, its my home town!

SO glad to hear from you!

(you are, after all, one of my favorites!)

Unknown said...

oh, joy. I scrolled down to where I last read and I can't stop laughing. And it's funny that Chris actually asked you if you remembered to pack your bra.

Jangs said...

I may just stay in Happy Valley after all